More Rosenthal Douchebaggery

Among Fox Sports' Ken Rosenthal's NL selections at the pitcher spot...you will not find the current NL saves leader with 24, San Francisco's Brian Wilson. Fuck, I know saves are like wins and thus, imperfect when measuring a player's effectiveness, but Jesus, man. He doesn't even get a "Notable Omissions" nod, which goes to the likes of :

Taylor Buchholz, RHP, Rockies; Francisco Cordero, RHP, Reds; Jair Jurrjens, RHP, Braves; Hong-Chi Kuo, Dodgers; Kyle Lohse, RHP, Cards; Carlos Marmol, RHP, Cubs; Kerry Wood, RHP, Cubs.

Writes Rosendouche:

Love the staff, even though I included only two relievers. The starters on my team are just too good — so good, I couldn't find a spot for Jurrjens, who is sixth in the league in ERA.

When discussing AL pitchers, Rosenthal includes the O's George Sherrill because he's second in the league in saves. So saves is a stat that matters to Rosenthal. So where is the fucking love for the guy leading the NL in saves?

Similarly, Rosenthal shafts Bengie in favor of Yadier Molina for Notable omission at the NL catcher's spot, despite similarish OBP, Slugging, BA, HR, and OBPS, though Bengie is killing in RBIs, because "(Yadier) Molina throws as well as any catcher in the league and is one of the most difficult players to strike out." Really? Bengie strikes out once every 14 ABs and Yadier strikes out once every 21. That seems like a lot, except when you notice Bengie has struck out 7 more times in 49 more AB's, but let's not even pretend it matters half a fuck when selecting an All-Star team. Also, throws as well as blah, blah, blah? Jesus, man.

So of course the issue is, Rosenthal hasn't seen shit this year outside the FGOTW, and unless a player he hasn't seen has stats that jump out of his computer screen and blow stat goo all over his face, Rosenthal ignores him. The biggest problem I have with this list is the lack of consistency. He picks Jose Reyes despite acknowledging Reyes' being an error machine because he's "one of the five most exciting players in the game," yet would take Yadier Molina because of a strong arm? Would take Griffey Jr. as a lifetime achievment despite a OBPS lower than 11 of the qualifying right fielders in the NL and the 14th best SLG among right fielders?

I'd like to submit into evidence...

item #437 in the case of "The People Versus Obnioxious Douchbaggery in Baseball." After making a throwing error last Sunday, Mets' shortstop Jose Reyes threw his mitt to the ground in disgust and was called on it by Keith Hernandez.

Well, he's got to get over that," Hernandez said at the time, according to one transcript of the broadcast. "Enough babying going on now. He's a grown man. He's been around a long enough time. Take off the kid gloves."

Reyes' response?

"A lot of people told me, and that's no good," Reyes told The Post. "I was mad at myself because I make an error in that situation. It makes me mad, because [Hernandez] played the game, too. He knows it is not an easy game. And he knows when you make an error, you are supposed to feel bad."

He also knows you don't throw your glove to the ground when you fuck up. Actually, eight year-olds know that. Hernandez has been known to run at the mouth a little, but Reyes deserved to be called on acting like a tantrum-throwing child. News flash, fuckface: you can feel bad about a play without making a huge spectacle. Instead, Reyes' response was to confront Hernandez on the team flight, further demonstrating the extent to which Keith Hernandez was right in his comments.

It's still cheating

Sappy fraud Ken Rosenthal's latest nonsensical page vomit revolves around Paul Byrd's explanation for why he used HGH...

(Byrd) said that he had a legitimate explanation for using HGH — three doctors had diagnosed him as suffering from adult growth-hormone deficiency.

Awesome. That is a legitimate reason for taking HGH...if you want to live a normal life. Not as far as baseball is concerned though. In the interview Byrd goes on to explain that his real issue was that the Mitchell Report said Byrd had taken the HGH as treatment for a tumor, which he never told Mitchell investigators. Okay. He also says the HGH helped him function normally. Good. I truly hope Paul Byrd is experiencing a more normal existence due in part to the benefits of having taken HGH and undergoing other treatments. At the end of the day though, he took HGH and was a Moajor League baseball player. The question for us all is and has been and will continue to be, did the player ingest or inject or do something that allowed him to perform at a level otherwise incapable? For Paul Byrd? Yeah. I'm sorry about his hormone deficiency. I'm glad you're healthy now. But not everyone can do everything. You can't take a 36-inch tall kid on the 45 inches and up ride at Disneyland because he's wearing stilts. You can't put paddles on an armless swimmer and sign him up for the Olympics. As Walter says in The Big Lebowski, "Smoky, this is not 'Nam. This is bowling. There are rules." Sometimes, shit happens and things get fucked and you can't play baseball.

Q: How much — if at all — do you regret using HGH?
A: At this time in my life I do not regret using HGH. It really helped me health-wise and personally with my marriage. As far as the baseball field goes, I was able to throw bullpens and recover better (like a normal pitcher) but I have recently learned by talking to doctors that my recovery could have been a by-product of the hormone allowing me to get sleep so I am working on that now through different means. What I don't miss about HGH — the reoccurring temptation to take more than the prescribed dose and possibly increase the velocity of my fastball.

I like the whole parenthetical mention of the baseball benefits of HGH, like actually throwing harder would have been the only real benefit. Not the getting to throw at all. Getting to "throw bullpens and recover better (like a normal pitcher)," due to having taken HGH, means you cheated.

Go Away, Doucheclown