The Arlington Express

Nolan Ryan is the new president of the Texas Rangers. Let MHR be the first to say, it's about fucking time. Chuck Norris has been running around campaigning for some anti-evolution minister when he should be roundhousing escaped convicts and baby killers. Nothing is as effective as a Nolan Ryan fastball at Walker's bean from 60'6" away at forcing Major Scott McCoy off the campaign trail.

Seriously, though, we all know Ryan's history. He is as much associated with the Rangers as any other team he played with, though he's been back and forth about his allegiance to Texas or Houston over the past few years. It's unclear whether he will be allowed to hold on to his Astros minor-league affiliates, but it's hard to imagine Tom Hicks forcing Ryan to give those up, and his kids, whose names do not start with "K"'s since he's not a total douche, are involved with both teams.