Someone loves Roald Dahl

Found this link to the Top 50 childrens books in the Telegraph at Deadspin. It's way easier to make fun of a list than create it. The list as compiled through polling of 4,000 parents, and recognizably bears a largely British slant. My overwhelmingly qualified take, you ask?

The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe and Winnie the Pooh totally belong in the top five. Yes. Both are revolutionary. Both are literary masterpeices. Winnie the Pooh isn't really one book, but the volume makes it count as a book for my purposes.

The Very Hungry Caterpillar at #2? I disagree. It is a nice book. Little BH loves it. I guess I like that the list seems to incorporate books for all ages from zero to, twelve, I guess. But hell. What separates Caterpillar from Goodnight Moon? Is it kid appeal, or something? Parent appeal? Anyway, The Very Hungry Caterpillar just ate a huge hunk of no better than #20 on my list.

The Famous Five series is a series. That's like when Major League Baseball had its greatest baseball moments thing a few years ago, and Cal Ripken's consecutive games played record won. Go fuck yourself and your series inclusion, Mr. and Mrs. Stupid Bastard Listmakers.

Where is The Giving Tree? For that matter, where are any of the Shel Silverstein books?

Roald Dahl books make up six of the top thirty, and Fantastic Mr. Fox doesn't make the list? Huff!

Where is Watership Down? No, I'm serious. Where the fuck is Watership Down?! If The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe qualifies, then so does the motherfucking Down. Captain Underpants is in there. Yeah, my name was 'Lumpy Boogerchunks.' Hardy muthafuckin' har har. Room can't be made for some goddamn rabbits, but room is found for Lumpy fucking Boogerchunks? I'm so pissed I can't type right. asdfasv; a;hagfhivjg

Where the Wild Things Are at #33? Beautiful.

From Watership Down:

"We are not concious of daylight as that which displaces darkness. Daylight, even when the sun is clear of clouds, seems to us simply the natural condition of the earth and air. When we think of the downs, we think of the downs in daylight, as we think of a rabbit with its fur on."

Come on. That shit will change your life. Famous Five? Captain Underpants? Psshaw.