Tuesday, July 31, 2007

Props to Shaquille O'Neal

The Big Aristotle. Superman sure did make these young folks feel like they were supermen and superwomen. The Season Finale of Shaq's Big Challenge aired on ABC just now. The Big Man and all that were involved deserve a big pat on the back for this one. The part about school lunches (although those tater tots looked quite delicious) was right on the money.

Every child on that show should be extremely proud of what they accomplished. Hopefully that will send waves through the State of Florida, as well as the rest of the nation.

Bravo, Mr. O'Neal.

Monday, July 30, 2007

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't be 49ers

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have Joe Montana.

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't' have Steve Young.

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have Jerry Rice.

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have Dwight Clark.

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have John Taylor.

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have Brent Jones.

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have Tom Rathman.

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have Ronnie Lott, and Ronnie would still have his pinkie.

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have "The Catch."

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have the team of the 80's.

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have the West Coast Offense.

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have Randy Cross' famous quote, "They came to see an offense and the wrong one showed up."

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have Mike Shanahan.

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have Mike Holmgren.

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't hate the Cowboys (with apologies to C-Lo).

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have explosive offense leading to explosive stats.

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have fantasy football.

Without Bill Walsh, we wouldn't have love football.

Bill Walsh died today at the age of 75. A piece of every 49er fan died with him today. RIP Coach.

Wednesday, July 25, 2007

Thought This Was Funny

Check out this post over at SPORTSbyBROOKS

My favorite line..."...every limo driver and tour guide in Vail mentions Kobe Bryant within the first three minutes..."

I left a comment on the Ballhype page trying to explain the difference between Vail and "down valley" (Beaver Creek, Edwards, Eagle...) and why they use the term "Vail" to refer to that whole area (for tourists like Ms. Priddy).

might even warrent our...

Hell, screw it. It definitely calls for the-


So congrats, Ms. Brenda Priddy, you dumb bastard.

Saturday, July 21, 2007


Top of the ninth in Saturday's Brewers/Giants game on Fox. Pedro Feliz pulls a ball between short and third. J.J. Hardy does a good job to get to the ball, but throws wildly to first, allowing Feliz to take second on the overthrow.

Mark Grace: Hardy's going to get an error on this, and that's too bad. He makes an amazing play here.



From a former major leaguer? After Hardy made a kind of really bad decision to make the throw?

Thursday, July 19, 2007

Ramblings of Note

Is that Herban Meyer's daughter??? (The Big Lead)

This one's for you, C-lo: Check out McFadden's ride (Loser With Socks)

A look back at Baseball's Best Afros (Bugs and Cranks)

All the Rickey Henderson you could hope for... (100% Injury Rate)

Great spoof on ESPN's "Who's Now" (the Pig Pen)
Mike Tyson got fat (With Leather)

Tuesday, July 17, 2007

We Hardly Knew Yi

Last night I had a dream...and I was the GM of the Memphis Grizzlies. I hosted a press conference to debunk all the crazy Kobe trade rumor nonsense, and at the end, I made a plea to both the Milwaukee Bucks organization along with Guangdong Tigers.

"Mike Miller, Damon Stoudemire, and Stromile Swift in exchange for Yi and Charlie Bell."

"Oh, and if it makes you feel better we'll throw in a second rounder next year..."

The money probably doesn't work out, but whatever.

Milwaukee must do something, as ESPN reports Yi's team will attempt to block Yi from playing in the City of Suds.

Funniest line from the article:

"Chen expressed concern that Yi would have trouble getting playing time with the Bucks, whose squad boasts Australian 7-footer Andrew Bogut and a number of other tall young players."


Yeah, they're so tall!! And young, too!!!

Thursday, July 12, 2007

Welcome Darko!

Uh-Oh.....Awwwwww Hell! We gots ourselves TWO big Euro-giants, now! It's ON LIKE DONKEY KONG!!! Or something. So we went with the Lady's Man over Sideshow Bob. I think Memphis had about $8 million/year to shell out, and shell out they did. Darko will be banking $21 million over the next three years. My favorite quote from that article:
"We are extremely excited for this new opportunity," Cornstein said. "Darko's going to a team that really wants him."
Great. Yay for Darko. They do make a good point, however, about Iavaroni's big-man coaching skills. (Can he teach our big men to be fast?)
Should be interesting to watch the Grizziles try up-tempo basketball with two huge white dudes on the floor at the same time.
And on that note, I must recognize the newest member of the butler's little pantry, a blog I've enjoyed for a long time...and one of the best basketball blogs on the net, Free Darko.

Wednesday, July 11, 2007

Ramblings of Note

This edition of "Ramblings of Note" inspired by another great Brady Quinn picture. (Raul Mondesi's House)

Greg Oden is out with a tonsil. (Around the Oval)

Steve Franchise, indeed. (Oregon Live.com Blazers Blog)

Yi, Yi, and more Yi... (The Bratwurst)

Why is everybody hating on Vince Young? (Music City Miracles)

Let the NBA Free Agent scramble begin... (Winning the Turnover Battle)

Tuesday, July 10, 2007

Your favorite players were (are) on the juice too - NL Version

I don't apologize for being a Barry Bonds fan. In fact, I would love to have a debate about his Hall of Fame worthiness, whether or not he "deserves" to be the homerun champ, or even whether or not he deserves all of the ridiculous articles and columns written by self-righteous "journalists" who think they are saving humanity by comparing Bonds with some of the most horrific characters of the 20th AND 21st centuries. Ergo, when The Butler passed along a website dedicated to throwing ball 756 back on the field, simply because Barry Bonds is the anti-Christ, it was the proverbial Tipping Point in my life as a fan.

If you don't like Bonds because he allegedly did steroids* and you don't like the Giants because they have been the Pakistan to Bonds' bin Laden, then you, sir (or ma'am), are a friggin' idiot. Because you are a hypocrite. Your favorite players did steroids, and your favorite teams supported said players. It's time for you to accept this as a fact and stop the hypocritical diatribes about Barry Lamar Bonds.

Game of Shadows and Love Me, Hate Me exposed Bonds as a performance enhancing drug maniac-bastard-jerk-ass face. For San Francisco fans, The Onion's article said it best. Nobody was shocked. But given the tremendous scapegoating that is going on as Bonds approaches Hank Aaron's record, I feel compelled to ask the question about a plethora of baseball "stars." Because, you know, we haven't had the privilege of reading a book titled "Love Me, Hate Me: The Todd Hundley story" or "Game of Shadows: How Bret Boone became a homerun hitter." Remember, Todd Friggin' Hundley once held the record for most homeruns hit by a catcher in a season. Todd. Hundley.

With that in mind, I thought I would have a little fun by combining statistics with reckless steroid insinuations. Do I know if all of the players listed below did steroids? No. I base this list on no factual evidence whatsoever (unless you count Alex Sanchez and Guillermo Mota). In fact, I'm sure many of the players below only think of orange or apple when you say the word "juice" in their presence. But in an era where you can seemingly get HGH from a vending machine, I'm skeptical.

An exhausting 56 minutes were spent digging through 10 years of baseball statistics to compile the totally meaningless list below. Statistical spikes and/or brief periods of curious success (like, say, Adrian Beltre's 49 homer season before he hit free agency) guaranteed a player a spot on this list. Without further ado, here are some of your favorite players:

NL West Division:

San Diego Padres: Phil Nevin, Greg Vaughn, Kevin Brown, Ken Caminniti

Los Angeles Dodgers: Adrian Beltre, Eric Gagne, Mike Piazza, Kevin Brown

Arizona Diamondbacks: Luis Gonzalez, Steve Finley, Randy Johnson (oh yeah, I said it)

Colorado Rockies: Dante Bichette, Todd Helton, Vinny Castilla

San Francisco Giants: Benito Santiago, Barry Bonds, Jason Schmidt

NL Central Division:

Chicago Cubs: Sammy Sosa, Mark Prior, Mark Bellhorn (27 HR version), Kerry Wood

Cincinnati Reds: Scott Williamson, Bret Boone* (monster 1998 season which was likely first year he found the juice), Rob Dibble, Greg Vaughn

Houston Astros: Roger Clemens*, Roger Clemens*, Roger Clemens* (and Richard Hidalgo, circa 2000, Randy Johnson circa 2000 version that went 10-1 with a 1.28 ERA, leading Astros to the playoffs, and Jeff Bagwell)

Milwaukee Brewers: Jeremy Burnitz, Jose Hernandez, Alex Sanchez (ROY version)

St. Louis Cardinals: Mark McGwire (too easy), Albert Pujols (double too easy), Ron Gant, Fernando Tatis, Jim Edmonds, Scott Rolen

Pittsburgh Pirates: Kevin Young, Aramis Ramirez, Brian Giles, Francisco Cordova, Josias Manzanillo

NL East Division:

New York Mets: Apparanly, the entire team, but the New York media likes to overlook that when they are blowing smoke up this team's butt... including Todd Hundley (one-time MLB catcher record 41 homers in a season), Benny Agbayani, Turk Wendel, Josias Manzanillo*, Dennis Cook, Mike Piazza, Ricky Henderson (1999 version, Comeback Player of the Year), Melvin Mora, Mike Hampton

Atlanta Braves: Bret Boone* (WS edition), Marcus Giles, Javy Lopez, John Rocker, Kevin Milwood, Mike Remlinger

Philadelphia Phillies: Pat Burrell, Scott Rolen, Mike Lieberthal, Kent Bottenfield

Washington Nationals (Montreal Expos): Brad Fullmer, Henry Rodriguez, Mike Lansing, Jeff Juden

Florida Marlins: 1997 WS Champions... Kevin Brown, Darren Daulton, Gary Sheffield, Alex Fernandez... 2003 WS Champions... Pudge Rodriguez, Mike Lowell (32 HR version), Todd Hollandsworth, Carl Pavano, Ugeth Urbina

Sunday, July 08, 2007

Kenji is a Baaaaaad Man

This is my buddy Kenji's first go at the ultimate fighting thing. Watch the video on him, then watch him drop some poor fool in 4 seconds.

That's right. KO in 4 seconds. Ouch.



Monday, July 02, 2007

More deep thoughts from Spencer Hawes

Not only is he big and nonathletic, but he's a conspiracy theorist to boot! According to SI.com, the Spencer Hawes Mental Experience goes something like this:

Spencer Hawes is a hardcore conservative from, of all places, the liberal stronghold of Seattle. He was drafted into a city (Sacramento) where one of the country's most recognizable Republican governors (Arnold Schwarzenegger) is in office. Hawes says he "loves" Arnold, and that he brought True Lies with him on the trip to New York, with plans to watch it on the flight home. "Now it has a little extra meaning for me," Hawes said.

Before we expect some kind of right-wing, basketball-and-politics partnership to form, though, Hawes might need to change his stance on global warming. Schwarzenegger, who most recently discussed the issue with world leaders during a tour of Europe, has become a leading figure in the fight for action against climate change. Hawes has a different view.

When I spoke with Hawes at the league's predraft camp on May 31, he talked about a recent Public Debate class exercise at the University of Washington. In it, he said, he denied the entire existence -- and human cause -- of global warming. When asked for his take on Al Gore's An Inconvenient Truth, Hawes said, "It's one big lie. I talked about that in my opening speech -- it's the media's liberal overexaggeration of just about everything."

Hawes, also an avid listener of The Rush Limbaugh Show, will be happy to know that Rush also turned pro -- as a talk radio host -- in Sacramento. For fear of overexaggerating any additional draft tales, we'll leave you with that.
Aside from the mountain of scientific data suggesting the environment has been harmed by the planet's warming over the last 200 years (which has accelerated since the Industrial Revolution) I guess global warming could be one big lie. I mean, I suppose Steven Spielberg could have CGI'd a mock-melting of the polar ice cap in Hollywood and sent it to National Geographic and Discovery Channel in a devious attempt to fool the public. For what exact purpose? Spite, I'm guessing. But that sounds like a theory created by somebody who religiously listens to Rush Limbaugh. Wait...

Spencer's practice jersey

Seriously, Hawes is a friggin' idiot. There's no way around it. I don't mind that he's a Republican, but I do mind the whole, "The media's liberal overexaggeration of just about everything," stance. It's weeeeeeeak, Spencer. Weak.

You know what was overexaggerated by the liberal media, Spencer? Your upside and status as an NBA-prospect. Because, like Todd Fuller and Robert Swift before you, unathletic centers don't have any upside. But I guess you aren't too disappointed that they exaggerated that, are you?

Ramblings of Note

A look at the career of Evander Holyfield (Awful Announcing)

Mike Conley Jr. blogs about being selected #4 overall (Yardbarker)

Tony Parker is up to some shenanigans (Larry Brown Sports)

Hottest Wife/Girlfriend in sports Contest is heating up... (Our Book of Scrap)

Ballhype interview with Jamie Mottram of Mr. Irrelevant and AOL Fanhouse fame (Ballhype)

Starbury hearts the Zach Randolph trade (Youtube)

Have you checked your autographed baseball lately? (Bugs and Cranks)

LenDale White likes Vegas for the food (Music City Miracles)

John Kruk's hair looks very odd (The Sports Hernia)