Balls and Strikes

posted by BH

Anyone who watched last night's game between the Giants and Astros know three things:
1)Russ Springer is full of shit and can't hit a stationary target.
2)Every fan who gave Springer a standing ovation after he was ejected for plunking Bonds in the 5th, is a douchy douche of the douchiest order.
3)Pedro Feliz is a stud.

After barely missing Bonds four times, once with a slider, once with what looked like a cutter, and twice with fastballs, he finally nailed Bonds in the shoulder. As his manager, Phil Garner was arguing with the home plate umpire who had just thrown him out of the game, Springer motioned that it had been a slider that hit Bonds. Um, Russ my boy, that was the fastest slider in the history of baseball. First, you couldn't hit the guy. Then you pretend you threw a different pitch? You're weak. There's been some talk today about a Bonds/Springer feud, but nothing real substantive. Evidently, Bonds hit one out off Springer in 2001, and Springer's hit Bonds both times he's faced him since then. Hmm. Whatever. If there wasn't really any Springer bad blood involved and he was really just trying to be the leader of a staff that had been knocked around worse than (insert funny, somewhat distasteful metaphor), I don't know why you'd pick the worst Giants hitter at the moment, this side of Omar Vizquel, to drill in that situation. Yeah, Bonds had two hits earlier in the game, but that made him 3 for two weeks.

Jamey Wright found himself in a tough position. After scoring, Bonds said something along the lines of, "Don't worry about it," to Wright, which had to have helped the San Fran starter. Had Wright hit a batter in the fifth, he would have been tossed, wouldn't have been given credit for the win, and his ERA would have taken a beating. It was also Wright who hit Brian Giles following a Giants hit batter a few weeks ago that started a seven-run inning, and cooincidentally sent the Giants to the land of sub-.500 baseball.

In the end, nothing is going to come of this. Bonds won't be in the lineup today. Springer won't be suspended, though he should be. If a Giant pitcher hits the first batter, he'll get a warning and that will be the end of it. Houston fans who cheered Springer should get forks shoved up their asses. Columnists will continue to pretend no one else has made an allusion to the Jerry Springer show. Fans across the country will continue feeling that their piety knows no bounds, continually doing their best Curt Schilling impressions.

Oh yeah. When did Feliz decide he could hit?