Monday, June 04, 2007

The Countdown has begun....

First off, let me apoligize for having not posted in a very long time. You guys do your duty and post often. And being a fan of this site (before I was a contributor) I have to say that I am extremly thankful for that. Hopefully I will be able to post more often after this Saturday. You see, this saturday is the day that my life changes forever. This Saturday I am getting married.

I have been to dozens and dozens of weddings in my lifetime. Seriously I have probably been to over 50 or 60 weddings. And so far I have been in 5. And I know how boring it is to hear about someone elses wedding. So please try and stay with me here.

I am not like most guys. Getting married has never been an event that I have been scared of or put off. I always thought of getting married as a great acomplishment (if you chose wisely). This woman, (lets call her Helen...well...since that is her name), is the 3 long term relationship I have had.

I had the girl in highschool for a year and a half that I was sure I was going to marry. You know, since she was the first one to give it up to me. There was no way I was going to let that slip away. Whatever. I was young and dumb.

Then I went to college.

After the first weekend of college we had to part ways. There was no way I was going to have a gf in college. No need to bring sand to the beach. I went through 3 years of college and fraternity life "single". And by "single" I mean that I was enjoying being in college and being in a fraternity.

My last few months in college I started dating this girl named Lisa. We dated for 5 years (on and off). Looking back I can say that was mostly a mistake. Jesus we fought a lot!! Anyway, the best thing about Lisa was that she keep me occupied until I met Helen. Lisa and I had lived together and when we decided to go our own ways I ended up with nothing. It was like getting a divorce. We had to live together for 6 months after we had decided to part ways. And the day she moved out I came home from work to find nothing but my clothes and TV. It was a year after Lisa that I met Helen.

It's a long and funny story but I really don't want to get into it. Basicly, I had gone up to her friends one night in a drunken stupor and told them that I had the D.O.D., (A.K.A. the Dick Of Death), and that I could lay pipe like no other. Somehow they thought this was cute and funny and I got to meet their friend a few weeks later. They called me D.O.D. for months after that. So damn embarrsing. (Sidebar: This past weekend Helen's friends through her a Shower. My mom came. And they re-told that story. In front of my Mom. Amazing).

Anyway, I am all over the place. But my point is that now that I am the one getting married I am starting to look at everything differently. And I mean everything! It feels like life is changing in front of my eyes. In a good way. Anyway, I look forward to spending the rest of my like with Helen. (PS> for those of you who do not know... My name is Troy. So yes, we are Helen and Troy. As in "Helen of Troy". We get that joke all of the time.) She is the smartest (she is a DR.), kindest, hottest (she was on our college's dance team), most loving person I have ever met and I am damn lucky that she feels the same way about me that I feel about her. I hope I can handle the job. I am going to give it all can.

Thanks for letting me talk and share my feelings.

Any advice from you married guys out there?



SonDog said...

Welcome to the club buddy. There's a few things you should be aware that you can expect over the rest of your life as a married man:

1) You better learn how to do the dishes. For God's sake, learn how to do the fucking dishes. And by no means should you ever say, "Why don't you do them for a change?"

2) Developing friendships with other married couples and trying to find conversation with those that don't care for sports. That's usually the point when I fake a bad diahhrea episode and scram back home to watch the Giants.

3) "Do I look fat in this?" "Do you like these shoes?" "Do you think I should say something to her?" "Did you hear what *insert common first name here* did?" "I have a headache."

4) And whatever you do, by all means, don't EVER say to your wife, "I guess we'll never be going in there again," when walking past a Victoria Secret store. Seriously, don't do it.

SonDog said...

Oh yeah... CONGRATS BRO!

the butler said...

Can I actually ask you for advice?

How do I get to marry a Doctor?

Whitey219 said...


I already have number 1 down. I have been washing all of our dishes for 2 years now. We have a dishwasher that we don't even use.

As for number 2..... That is just something that all married guys have to deal with. So far I have been able to avoid it but I am sure the time is coming.

Number 3. No comment

and finally number 4.... I have already made that mistake basicly. She never wears anything like that anymore so I made the comment. It did not go over well as you could imagine.

And Butler.... I wish I knew! When I first met her the first thing out of my mouth was, "I know who you are. You are on the VCU dance team right?" So I was already thinking, "Score!!!". She said that she used to be on the dance team and that now she is in PT school. She is a DPT.(Doctor of Physical Therapy) I was thinking, "you are not only smoking hot, but a DR.... jesus!" I really lucked out.....