Tuesday, June 12, 2007

What Happened in the Pacman - Goodell Meeting?

Hmm. "he has decided to accept his punishment..." huh? (Nashville City Paper) Okay. So be it. Just seems strange that Pacman would drop the appeal. Why not just wait and see if maybe Goodell comes to his senses? After all, many agree that the year suspension was a little overboard.

Here's what I think might have gone down in Pacman's meeting with Goodell last week...(and yes, I realize Kissing Suzy Kolber pretty much has a monopoly on this kind of thing.)

Pacman walks in with a fresh three-button tailored suit and a clean shave, sits down on Goodell's rich mahogany finish sofa.

Goodell remarks, "Son, did I say you could sit down?"

Pacman (kind of wanting to grin, but remembers this crazy cracker is serious): Uhhhh....?

Goodell says something like, "You may have a seat over there." (points to kiddie table in corner, where some sort of child prodigy peruses through "The Art of War")

Pacman: "This yo son?"

Goodell: "Nah, don't worry about young Christoph...just one of my disciples."

Pacman: "A who?"

Goodell: "So let's get to the point here, son. By now the masses knoweth that my swift sword of justice came down slightly harder upon thee than it did upon thy peers."

Pacman: "I'm here to check on dat appeal mayne..."

Goodell: "However, after establishing myself as Supreme Deity of the Kingdom of Roger Goodell and His Gladiator Warriors..."

Pacman: "You talkin' 'bout dat mooovie mayne? Mayne I think I saw that shit two nights ago."

Goodell: (this look on his face)"...I cannot appear in any way or form, less than Omniscient."

Pacman: (sits there wondering what the hell dude's talkin' 'bout)

Goodell: "So what you must do is look into my eyes..."(hypnotizes the hell out of Pacman, convincing him to withdraw his appeal and pull the whole "repentant criminal routine")

Pacman: "Did I wear my sunglasses in here?"

Goodell: "I don't think you're future is that bright, son."

Pacman: "Do you even speak English mayne? I was talkin' 'bout my shades..."(walks out)

Christoph: (morphing back to his true form, the Devil) "Nice work, my son..."

Goodell: "Thanks, dad. "


SonDog said...

If Vick gets sentence, will he be suspended for life?

Larry Brown said...

Mayne, I don't got time for dem dumb games.

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