Saturday, June 30, 2007

Spencer Hawes and the two-day hangover

Just to refresh your memory, here's what I wrote on Thursday morning: "And for God's sake, Geoff Petrie, please don't draft Spencer Hawes. I mean, it would be an absolute tragedy if this team wakes up tomorrow morning with more than one white 7-footer with a crippling lack of athleticism."

And for those of you not watching the draft with me on Thursday night, here's what I said immediately following David Stern saying, "With the tenth pick in the 2007 NBA Draft, the Sacramento Kings select, Big Unathletic White Dude.": "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!"

Here's a few centers that fit the "Big Unathletic White Dude" mold, drafted in the top 20 in the last few years: Rafael Araju, Robert Swift, Nick Collison, Chris Kaman, Curtis Borchardt, Michael Bradley, Chris Mihm, Joel Przybilla, Jason Collier, Kria Humphries, Michael Doleac, and the immortal Todd Fuller.

To say Spencer Hawes has an "uphill battle" is to say that George Bush's approval ratings are "okay." But I wouldn't want to say that too close to Hawes, because as we found out from Mike Tirico, Hawes loves political debate, is a staunch Republican, and has a bumper sticker that says, "I Love George Bush."

Um, Spencer, I hate you.

It will be my life's mission to engage Brad Miller... er, I mean, Spencer Hawes in a political debate over the merits of the Bush administration.

Spencer and the love of his life in a pickup game last year

Politics aside, the primary reason this is a stupid pick is because Hawes' weaknesses are in two areas: Defense and Rebounding. Sure, he has a strong skill set when it comes to footwork, passing and post moves, but if your new center can't rebound or play D and your front court now consists of three guys who play below the rim (Miller, Hawes, Abdur-Rahim), you are going to get killed in the Western Conference. At this point, the Sacramento Monarchs have a more imposing front court.

Hey, maybe Hawes can be the new Vlade Divac (who he has patterned his game after). Maybe he and Miller can combine to form the best 4-5 passing duo since Webber and Divac. And maybe President Bush is a smart man.

In other words, it's going to be a long season.


Eric said...

That is without question the most seamless photoshopping I have ever seen!! lol

oh and goodl luck with Spencer Hawes! :(

SonDog said...

It was likely the worst photoshopping in teh history of photoshopping.

OZ said...

Does this mean they don't want the trade with Miami? I would have loved to have Haslem's D and rebounding.

SonDog said...

At this point, I don't know if they know what they want. Artest and Bibby have to go, but that doesn't excues having a new front court that I could dunk over.

the butler said...

the gauntlet has been thrown down.

Spencer, we are waiting.

I LOVE YOU said...


日月神教-向左使 said...