Wednesday, November 09, 2005

That Silly Mamba

by SonDog, who lives in Eagle County, Colorado
From my friend, Kari, in Sacramento:

Great…he’s continuing to pro-create. According to Page 6:

Controversial basketball star Kobe Bryant and his wife Vanessa are expecting their second child in May. The couple already have 3-year-old daughter Natalia. A spokesperson for the couple says, "In addition to their excitement, Kobe and Vanessa have been sharing a lot of laughs because, after hitting game winning shots for the Los Angeles Lakers, Kobe has been making late night food runs for his wife's pregnancy cravings only to get home with the food and find out that her craving has changed."

Bryant was last year cleared of raping a 19-year-old hotel worker in Colorado. He claimed the sex was consensual.

According to other outlets, Brant "claimed" that the sex with his wife was consensual as well. I would be happy for Bryant if not for his utter lack of believability.

And, while I'm on the subject, why does he feel the need to wear a leotard this year under his uniform? Has anybody else noticed this? It's INSANE!! The "Mamba" moniker still hasn't quite gained traction, but the hilarity sure has. To paraphrase Bill Simmons from, "The absolute absurdity of a man once charged in Colorado with sexual assault wanting people to refer to him as a 13-ft, deadly serpent is why I still enjoy writing this column." I couldn't agree more.

Ballerina Bryant in his black tights

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