Monday, December 11, 2006

Um, wait...

by SonDog

If I'm Geoff Petrie right now, my response to Gavin and Joe Maloof's desire to bring Allen Iverson to Sacramento would be, "Um, wait... you want to do what? Ok... so who do you want to package along with Artest in the trade? Wait... you mean you want to bring him in to play WITH Artest? Oh Sweet Jesus. I quit."

I must admit, I'm equal parts intrigued and horrified. Curious and scared shitless.

I wrote almost exactly the same thing a little less than a year ago when the Kings made the decision to trade for Ron Artest, who backed out at the last minute, only to accept it after deciding it would be best to not suicide his career. While it turned out great last year, the proverbial writing is on the proverbial wall for a blowup this year. According to a published report in a major New York paper (article by Mitch Lawrence who, ahem, always tells the truth), teammates questioned the severity of Artest's back injury last week and were quoted as saying, "Nobody has any idea what he is going to do from one day to the next." Well... yeah. Anyways, we already know Artest is psycho. Which, of course begs the question: How many psychos does one team need?

So, why bring in Iverson? The "The Maloof's are gamblers, and this is a big gamble!" angle is about as stupid as the "We're fighting the war on terror in Iraq so we don't have to fight it here!" angle. To quote Sean Connery in The Rock, "This isn't patriotism. It's an act of lunacy. Personally, I think you're a fucking idiot."

Would it be fun to watch these two play together for a couple of games? Sure. Would it combust quicker than the Hindenburg? Absolutely. Hopefully Petrie can talk some sense into the Maloofs before it is too late.

Then again, I said the same thing last year about Artest coming aboard. I was so sure that he would fail in his promise to take the Kings to the playoffs that I said I would buy an Artest jersey if he actually succeeded.

In a related story, there is a Ron Artest #93 jersey in my closet right now.

18 comments:

OZ said...

I realize the similarity to last years situation in that we are discussing a crazy person come to play basketball in Sacramento, but as you touched on in the article the main difference is there is already a crazy person here. When I was on the “Bring Artest to Sac” train last year it was to alleviate a situation that was hemorrhaging talent and possibility. Now, this team is struggling but has shown signs of stellar defense and every now and then a corresponding offense. Why would you bring AI into the mix to mess all that up? It does nothing for the flow of the offense I can guarantee you that………then again…we are talking about a guy that can create points all by his onesy while everyone else watches, and a guy that play phenomenal defense. Hmmmm.

Nope, don't want it anyway. Two crazies don’t make a sane person.

bh said...

Hey, even the Hindenburg made it across the Atlantic before it cersploded. Maybe AI and Artest can make it work for a year. Really, we don't know the nature of their relationship or how the two interact. I haven't really noticed that AI is crazy, as seems to be the consensus on this post. I have noticed though that he is probably the hardest working player in the NBA, and really wants to win.

the butler said...

I think your Maloof's are just following the NBA's current trend, the marriage of rap music and basketball. I can see them now, drooling over the possibilities. They could essentially transform the NBA experience for their fans. I mean it's SOOOO obvious, right? Why not merge the game with a rap concert? Of COURSE! Instead of cheesy dance beats and half-cute 30somethings at half-time, you could bump that place out! Get CRUNK bitches!

Can you picture it...

And now...for your half-time viewing pleasure...the reason your ticket cost $500 and you still can't really see...your very own Las Vegas Kings rap duo....

(Low funky bass line intro...)

Ron Ron and Lil' A!!!!!!!!

SonDog said...

AI would be great for K-Mart's development... wait.

Maybe they can use these lyrics for the rap duet... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=eGDBR2L5kzI

BH, he's crazy. Certifiably crazy. Not as crazy as Artest, but crazy nonetheless. That being said, I've been a huuuuge Iverson fan through the years. Truly. I love watching him play. But he's crazy. And they already have a crazy. They dodged a bullet last year by pairing Artest and Wells. This pairing? Somebody might die. Like, seriously. Somebody might get killed. And it will probably be Coach Musselhead.

bh said...

Sorry son, I'm not buying it. I keep racking my brain, trying to figure out what you mean by 'crazy,' and I can't. I guess there was that practice thing a few years ago. He's definitely reached prima donna athlete stage in some of his demands, but I don't think he's crazy. I think maybe you're meaning he's a collection of behaviors that make him seem like a weird guy or kind of a dick, but crazy's a pretty tough word to throw around. With Artest, we've all thought he's got a chemical imbalance going on, which I will agree means he's crazy. With AI though, I've never thought that.

SonDog said...

From Forbes.com -- When the Sixers hired Cheeks in May 2005, Iverson joked he was so elated Cheeks was hired he wanted to kiss him on the mouth. The two formed a close relationship when Cheeks was an assistant coach with the Sixers.

"If you got a problem with Mo Cheeks, there must be something wrong with you," Iverson said at the time. --

True, maybe he doesn't have a chemical imbalance -- maybe -- but Iverson said last week that he had a problem with Cheeks and he could no longer play for coach Cheeks. By his own indirect admission, there is something wrong with him.

What scares me as well is that two current Kings who played with Iverson don't want to play with him again. John Salmons and Kenny Thomas both spoke about how difficult it was to play with Iverson. Truthfully, the clubhouse and chemistry issues scare me more than anything else. Artest complained last week that he wasn't getting enough touches. How in the name of Zeus's butthole do they figure bringing in Iverson will make him happy?

All craziness issues aside, adding Iverson to this Kings Artest-led roster is a bad idea.

SonDog said...

Update, Update!!!

Iverson reportedly nixed a deal that would have sent him to Charlotte. According to the AP, teh deal was in place yesterday, but Iverson voiced his displeasure about playing for Charlotte, thus killing the deal for the Bobcats.

Sounds like his most likely destinations are Minnessota or Boston. We'll see though. Indiana is said to be in the running, but can they really stomach Iverson after all they have gone through over the last year? I can't see Larry Legend actually wanting Iverson.

bh said...

Dude, May 2005 was a long time ago in sports life. Things can happen to soil otherwise prosperous relationships over a very short period. All it takes is one person without the right social skills to nip one little misunderstanding in the bud for it to mushroom. These guys are working very closely for extended periods of time, often in stressful, emotionally challenging environments. Sorry man. People aren't static, and I can't see how liking one guy a year-and-a-half ago and disliking him now makes him crazy. Tempermental, tough to please, selfish...probably. Doesn't satisfy crazy though. I used to have a roommate that now I can't stand. I went from being really happy that he was my roommate to really disliking him. I don't think it's an admission, indirect or otherwise, that I'm crazy.

Yeah, clubhouse chemistry is going to be a problem if AI goes to Sac, but not because he's a nut.

DMo said...

I am a loyal Kings fan. Though on the other side of that I haven't watched a Kings game since some game last year against the Lakers. That being due to the fact that I don't get "jiggy wit it" until the playoffs, much like hockey.

Though if AI was a King I would want to watch every game. Entertainment value you know. Sure I think it's a bad idea but fuck, the team is no longer fun to watch, Bibby's great but boring, they don't have a big man and Artest hasn't gone crazy yet. So shit bring in AI and watch shit go nutso! It'd be sweeet!! They aren't winning no title right now so we may as well be entertained and get some national press.

I dunno, bad idea-yes. Fun idea-yes. That pretty well explains the choice. Much like most of my decisions that shape my life.

I agree with BH, why is AI crazy? A typical me,me,me athelete sure. But crazy, I don't know. I don't think Artest is even that crazy. Flown off the handle a couple times, sure, but crazy? Who's to decide that? Oh, I forgot, Sondog. Shit, I dunno, people say I'm crazy so what do I know.

OZ said...

BH, I know you're a stickler for specifics and I have none, but when I say "crazy" I mean "might shoot someone for looking at him wrong" or "stabbed a guy for wearing the wrong color" crazy. From what I've heard, AI talks about killing people in his rap as well, which most people don't have the life experiences to tell that tale.

glamerica said...

This is why AI is "crazy"

In a life that hadn't been a "sunshine story", Iverson was left standing in the middle of a brawl between black and white students in a bowling alley. One Valenite's Day, Iverson and some friends - all jocks and black - walked into a Hampton Bowling Alley. Allen was already a local sports hero, having quarterbacked Bethel High School's football team to the state championship only two months earlier, and in the process of leading the basketball squad to the same trophy. He was probably the best known person in the city that night.

Allen's crowd was loud and had to be asked to quiet down several times, and eventually something of a shouting duel began with another group of youths. The only undisputable fact is that shortly thereafter a huge fight erupted, pitting the local white kids against the blacks. 17-year old Iverson was tried as an adult, convicted of maiming by mob, and sentenced to five years for throwing a chair at a girl.

I consider that "crazy"

Whitey

SonDog said...

Update!! Update!!

The Kings are out of the running for Iverson. It appears Iverson desperately wants out of Philly, but desperately does not want to move to Northern California (Kings and Warriors got word from his agent that he was not interested in coming their way.)

bh said...

Whitey- that doesn't mean he's crazy.

Oz- I think your 'crazy' is the same as Whitey's. While I completely disagree with its use here, I understand what you are trying to say.

Let me reiterate my point. I think 'crazy' is a huge word to use when describing a person. Ron Artest is crazy. He has a chemical inbalance. AI grew up in a world way different from mine, probably one that seems pretty fucked up, and has very different notions about what it means to be a man. He thinks about the world in a very different way than I do. I can't say he's nuts because of that.

DMo said...

BH is on it Douchebags.

SonDog said...

This is a debate with no end. Semantics. Figure of speech. Call it what you will... you say potato, I say potAto. Calling somebody "crazy" just isn't as easy as it used to be.

SonDog said...

Whitey, is that for real? Did he really throw a chair at a woman?

DMo said...

Damn skippy he threw it at her! You know, you KNOW that dumb bitch deserved it!

glamerica said...

sondog,
yeah it's real. he grew up like 2 hours from where I live. He went to jail for 5 years for it. I heard he was beating the hell out of people and that he sent one guy to the hospital. Call it what you want...
but where I am from.. we call that "crazy"

Whitey