Tuesday, May 22, 2007

NBA All Man-Child Team

While watching the sorry excuse for a Game 1 of the Eastern Conference Finals last night, my buddy Chris appropriately referred to Mr. LeBron James, right after a transition rim-rocker, as a "Man-Child". Such a fitting nickname...not only to LeBron, but a few other young beasts in the League as well. We were sitting there pounding some delicious Crown & Cokes when we began to wonder...which players would make up the current NBA All Man-Child Team. Not ever, but right now. 'Cause it's too hard to try and think back and remember who was a Man-Child a decade ago. I can remember Shawn Kemp and Shaq. They would no doubt make an All-Time All Man-Child Team if someone ever decided to crown one.

The criteria are somewhat self-explanatory. Bonus points were "awarded" to those who not only play like a Man Beast, but also possess facial features suggestive of at least four decades of life wear.

But today, these five men, all 24 years young or less, combine to form today's ALL MAN-CHILD TEAM (cue creepy organ music).

Amare Stoudemire
Born: November 1982

Other nicknames: STAT (Standing tall and talented), "Hellboy"(a Chuck Barkley original, I think), "Black Jesus"

Best finisher in the League? Many would say yes.

LeBron James
Born: December 1984

Other nicknames: King James, The Chosen One

Looked like a grown man entering the League at 19.
Played like one, too.

Dwight Howard
Born: December 1985

Other Nicknames: "Thunder", D-12"

Just. A. Specimen.

Chris Bosh
Born: March 1984
Other Nicknames: "CB4"
Emerged as one of the League elite this season.

Greg Oden
Born: January 1988 (allegedly)

Hasn't had a chance to prove his Man-Child status as an NBA player yet, but the guy looks like Robert Parrish ALREADY!


K said...

If Oden talks about trying to pattern his game after childhood hero Walt Bellamy, his cover's blown.

Awful Chief said...

That's a great man-child lineup you have there. Brian Cardinal would have to make the all-time team. He was the oldest looking college athlete I had ever seen prior to Greg Oden.