God Dammit I Hate the Fist Pump

...or whatever the hell it's called.

Is it some Nike ploy? It's everywhere. Did it start with this guy?

Yeah, probably. But at least Jordan saved it for big moments. Like, really big moments. Like hitting the winning shot in Game 6 of the Finals.

Then there was this guy, who kind of started doing it all the time...

Okay. An eagle on the 14th at Pebble is pretty sweet, but a bird on the 12th at Bob's Putt-Putt and Go-Carts is not, and you know Tiger's pumping his fist then.

Now, every douchebag does it. All the time.

After. Every. Win.

After every fucking escaped jam.

Yeah, I get it. You're a Nike guy. I seriously think it's a marketing idea.

Now, I'm not so pissed about Sharapova's fist pump, because of course she's really hot. I think she could take a crap on the court to celebrate a point and I'd be fine with it. But she does do the fist pump often. I guess tennis lends itself to fist pumps more than baseball or other sports, and my estimate with Maria is 2.3/game. That translates to roughly 90/final. Hell, dude. That's a tired arm.

This pisses me off...

I get it, dude. I seriously get it. You stumbled across CMT one night after a match at the U.S. Open and saw a Kenny Chesney video. Guh. I hate Kenny Chesney. I hate you. Wear some sleaves and celebrate like a gentleman.

We, as right-thinking bloggers, or something, have to stop this. We have to. You don't think it's a big deal?

It's a big deal. I'd like to stop the raised-arm-while-rounding-first-base-after-a-home-run thing that's becoming prevelant, but one dipshit issue at a time. It's my idee fixe.

stopthefistpump.blogspot.com