Friday, November 03, 2006

Knee-Jerk Reaction: First Week

by SonDog

-- The TNT studio crew of Ernie Johnson, Kenny Smith, Charles Barkley and Magic Johnson is quite simply the best four-man studio crew in all of professional sports. They don't laugh constantly like a bunch of idiots (i.e. NFL studio hosts), babble incoherently (i.e., Steven A. Smith in the ESPN studio), sound like drunk old men (i.e. Lou Holtz) or change their hair styles every week (i.e. Jeanie Zelasko and Kevin Kennedy in the FOX baseball studio).

You know what else is great about that crew? Based on no factual data whatsoever, it is the first and only fully bald crew. There is not one hair follicle on any of those domes. And I dig that. Why? Because I'm bald. And bald is beautiful.

Think about this too: Ernie Johnson is tremendous, all while battling cancer. Magic Johnson is tremendous, all while... well, you know. Why does this matter? Because it means that they can do a better job WHILE battling life-threatening illness than anybody else can do in full health. And I'm pretty sure that's my train-whistle blowing, ready to take me straight to hell.

-- Amare Stoudemire needs some confidence. He just doesn't look ready. He also needs a steak. That dude has lost way too much weight. Seriously, he's three more bullemic episodes away from joining Kevin Martin, Quincy Douby and Francisco Garcia on the Kenyan Marathon squad.

-- Chris Paul is about a year away from becoming the best point guard in the NBA. All he needs is more experience.

-- The Bulls are a trendy pick for the Eastern Conference Finals. But, where is Chicago's offense going to come from if they can't hit jumpers? Ben Wallace, PJ Brown and Tyrus Thomas make a formidible front-line, but they couldn't hit water if they were swimming in it. If that doesn't make sense, then it should make perfect sense to the point I'm trying to make.

-- Carmelo Anthony is primed for a huge year. He's going to come close to 30 points a night. He's not in the same all-around class as LeBron and DWade, but Melo is going to make The Leap this year to Superduperstar.

-- This "no arguing"nonsense is a little out of control. I hope the officials are just trying to make a point, because the leagues fans will not put up with having stars like Mike Bibby and Carmelo Anthony getting ejected on a nightly basis.


C-lo said...

All your missing is a reference to someone's race, religion and momma. I agree with the TNT team though. When in your life did you think you'd be referring to Charles Barkley as one of the best commentators in sports? I'm betting on never.

bh said...

I'm sure you recognize that the no arguing nonsense is mostly about getting entitled dicks to stop acting like entitled children on the basketball court. It isn't wrong of David Stern and the NBA to expect players to handle their questions with officials like men should. Neither officials nor anyone else in a position of authority on a basketball court would mind if Bibby or Anthony approached them after the play or the next time out to figure out what happened.