Tuesday, March 13, 2007

Mind of Kings Fans - Major League Mayhem Edition

by SonDog
The following is another email exchange between OZ and I, two die-hard Sacramento Kings fans. The team is coming off a disappointing loss to Denver and is in a state of chaos - from the Artest fiasco to the management issues. Since OZ is an accountant, he hasn't had time to email much from his office in Sac since, oh, January 1, so consider this a special treat.

OZ - "It felt great,'' Artest said. "The introduction was good. I got the same amount of cheers. It felt like old times. It should be fine.''
I wasn't cheering. And I certainly wasn't cheering when they lose to a team they haven't lost to in Arco since 1997. Oh yeah, nice to have you back Ron.

SonDog - So, regarding Artest, do you think the Maloof's should have predicted this? Or, do you think the Maloof's should have predicted this?

Speaking of the Maloof's, did you hear them call out Mussleman during the sideline interview? Joe Maloof said, and I paraphrase, "We've been disappointed in him, but he's coming around. As long as he works hard, he'll be okay." Sure, he'll be okay with that job at the BK Lounge if he keeps working hard, but he won't be okay as the coach of the Kings.

OZ -- Winning changes everything, even for Muss.

And before I start bashing Kings management for bringing Artest here I have to recognize that I was very much on the Artest bandwagon, driving it in some cases, but now I want him gone. Should they have seen it coming, maybe. It was a risk they were willing to take and I agreed with it at the time. Fortunately, I am just a fan so it is much easier for me to switch sides and now say he's a cancer and needs to go.

SonDog -- Flip-flopper. I would like to direct you to this post: http://milehighramblings.blogspot.com/2006/01/now-what.html. Yes, I've flip-flopped may times since, but it's important to note that he poisoned the team BEFORE he even arrived. That, and Kevin Martin plays like shit when Artest is in the lineup. Hopefully the Maloof's can trade
him for 50-cents on the dollar after the season. I'll even take two Canadian pennies for him at this point.

I'm a Maloof supporter, especially in the arena debacle, but they need to get their hands out of the basketball operations and let Geoff Petrie (GM) do his job before he walks. Think about the decisions they've made in the last year: Made the Artest trade against Petrie's wishes, Fired Adelman and hired Muss against Petrie's wishes, would not approve the Bibby trade to the Lakers against Petrie's wishes (even though they would have received 1) salary cap relief 2) draft picks and 3) given Bibby's albatross of a contract to their arch-rivals. I'm telling you, Petrie is going to walk this summer and become the GM of the Blazers.

OZ -- Then the Blazers could re-hire Adelman and life will have come full circle. Owner's getting their hands dirty rarely works out well, unless the owner has more money than he knows what to do with and is more than happy to spend it on the team. Cuban sucks.

Does this make you think of Major League at all? Is Vegas the Miami Stadium? Would Artest been on the top of the crazy wife's list of guys she wanted to invite to camp?

Rewrite: "This guy here is dead....and this guy killed him."

The words Artest and Arrest bear an uncanny resemblance. If President Palmer played Artest in a movie, he would kill Roger Dorn (Mike Bibby).

SonDog -- Well, since Artest will more likely be playing in the California Penal league next year than with the Kings, I think you make a perfect analogy.

Petrie calling Adelman, after Musselman is fired: "Rick! how would you like to coach the Kings again?"

Adelman: "Ohhhhh, I dunnno."
Petrie: "What do you mean, you don't know? This is your chance to coach in the big leagues."
Adelman: "Let me get back to you, will ya, Geoff? I got a guy on the other line asking about some white walls."

OZ -- So, unlike your need to have Kobe on every fantasy team you've ever drafted for, I will not support a player I don't like. Though I always want the team to succeed and I will always cheer for them (booing's stupid, but that's a different subject), I will not be cheering for Artest. I've been wondering ever since it became widely known that Kobe is the horrible person I always pegged him to be what I would do if I had a player like that on my team. Now I know. The difference is I choose to ignore Ron altogether as I cannot root against him lest hurt my team but I'll refuse to cheer for him regardless of circumstance.

SonDog -- In other words, you choose to be the Roger Dorn to Artest's Ricky Vaughn: "Let's cut through the crap, Artest. I only got one thing to say to you: "Strike this mother f**ker out." Re-write: I only got one thing to say to you: "Don't lead this team to the f**king playoffs. We need a lottery pick."

I only got one thing to say to you, Artest: Keep playing like shit!


Speaking of which, I still hope the Kings DON'T make the playoffs. The difference between a lottery pick and the 20th pick will be huuuuuge, especially in this draft. I'm not saying I am rooting for them to lose, but I'm rooting for them to lose. I would rather the Clippers get slaughtered against Dallas. Of note here, the Clippers successfully managed to intentionally lose last year as to avoid a first round matchup with San Antonio, Phoenix or Dallas. It would not surprise me in the least if they did it again in order to get a lottery pick.

OZ -- And it has worked out so well for them. I hate the "Let's lose and try and get a draft pick" mentality. I don't think being a junior college athlete gives me experience to speak from, but there is no way in hell I lay down on the field (or court in this case) for anybody, ever. Asking a player to do that is an absolute abomination to not only sports but man as a species, and you are a bad person for even thinking it.

SonDog -- I'm not asking them to lie down, you fool. I'm just saying I hope they continue to suck ass! Why start winning regularly now? Without salary cap space or decent draft picks, they're going to be in trouble for years. They need to re-tool around a guy that isn't a tool (Artest).
OZ -- What's the difference apart from semantics? If Martin gets NBA player of the Month is his SaoTSARBoE rating increase? If Bibby starts to play in forth quarters again and they actual win some close games will you go to sleep in your Kobe jersey unhappy?

SonDog -- If I sleep in a Kobe jersey in my bed in Vail, does that make me a rapist? Should I let my wife sleep next to me?

What's the point of the playoffs this year? Seriously? Dallas will treat them about as kindly as a prisoner in Guantanamo Bay. There's no need to watch Shareef crow-hop his way down the court with the quickness of my grandfather, watch Thomas blow lay-up after lay-up after lay-up, watch Bibbs fire at will, regardless of the shot clock, all for what? To get toasted in the first round? No, I say they need to rebuild and, unless the Maloof's decide who the draft pick will be, the draft is the way to start.

OZ -- Jesus, why do you even watch this team if you dislike all the players on it? And yes, if getting to the playoffs and getting toasted in the first round is the way the chips fall, so be it. It's better than rooting against my team. I bet you wouldn't talk that way about Denver.

SonDog -- The Nuggs have a couple of guys named 'Melo and AI. The Kings have a couple of guys named Douby and Reef. There's a difference. I want my team to win, but I don't think they should sacrifice the long-term stability for the short-term. The Giants have done enough of that for me.

OZ -- By trying to win they are sacrificing long-term stability? Since when is getting a draft pick a guaranteed boost to your teams long-term prowess? If anything, I think rooting against your team and wanting them to loose has much more severe long-term ramifications than whether a team gets the eighth seed or misses the playoffs.

SonDog -- You're an idiot. Captain Melodrama, with you're "severe ramifications."

OZ -- I don't feel you are giving this whole, "I want my team to lose" thing enough thought, psycho.

SonDog -- In closing...
SonDog: [before the playoff game] OZ, anything to add?
OZ: Ummm... no.
SonDog: He's not the best colorman in the league for nothing, folks!


4 comments:

the butler said...

I am basically in the same position as a Grizzies fan this year, and I'm dealing with a way more crappy team than you two.

I'm with you here Sondog...

and OZ I also support your point about never routing against your team. Very noble. However, there are a couple of unique situations that come in to play here, i.e. the most promising NBA Draft in years.

Sometimes a team needs a jolt to shake things up, lest your team continue in mediocrity. My Grizzlies have been swept in the playoffs for THREE STRAIGHT YEARS! At this point (or at any point in the season, really) we have no chance in making the post season, but even if we did, I wouldn't want to make it just to continue getting swept by San Antonio or whoever in the first round. GIVE ME ODEN OR DURANT! Landing one of those guys would feel way better than if we went on a 17-game winning streak to finish the season at 33-49.

The only hope I can hang onto for this year is that lottery pick. The way I see it, I'm not routing for my team to lose...I'm routing for them to WIN (the Draft Lottery).

OZ said...

Why is everyone so hopped up on the draft? Sure there are two great players coming out, but ha everyone forgotten the lesson of Darko? There are no guarantees that any player in any draft will be what everyone thinks or hopes he will be. Now a 17 game winning streak, that would give a team that has had everything from arena troubles to their best player wanting to get traded some life and hope and maybe even some optimism going into next year. It could bring in community support and keep a player I feel is a franchise player in a Memphis jersey. This is a proven quality player. Sure history has shown the Birds and Jordans stay with one team, but do you want to sacrifice every season until another Jordan comes along?

I’d take the streak.

the butler said...

I'm definitely with you on Gasol. Sondog can vouch that I was completely against trading him, unless we could've received Deng + Gordon/Nocioni + draft pick.

I want to keep Gasol badly. I love the guy. And if a 17-game winning streak was realistic, I wouldn't be against it.

But it also makes me optimistic, rather it makes me foam at the mouth a little bit to think of next year's possible line-up of:

Stoudamire, R. Gay, Miller, Gasol, and either Durant/Oden.

You're right, though, I don't want to tank every game or anything. I still get that crappy feeling when I see them lose. Even if it might lead to a lottery win.

SonDog said...

Why is everybody so hyped up on the draft, you say? Do you even WATCH basketball?! By all accounts, this is the Mother of All Drafts. The Deepest Draft in the History of Deep Drafts. The most potential breakout superstars in the greatest collection of prospects with upside, coachability, potential and all-around upsicoachabilotential since the Greeks and the Romans battled in the shadow of Sparta. I'm not trying to be melodramatic here either. Please, take this literally when I say, I don't think there is a greater collection of talent on the planet than the young men who will be registered for draft in the 2007 NBA early-entry pickings.