Why I Don't Care About This Super Bowl

by SonDog

For those of you who know me, there is no question that I am one of the biggest sports fans on the planet. From roughly the time I was a fetus, I have had a sincere love affair with sports. Parents, girlfriends, buddies, co-workers and wifey have all been prone to say things like, "Dude, you are way too into sports," or, "No, you do your homework before watching the game," or, "What do you mean you can't go clubbin' because there's a game on?" or, "You're going to stop reading random sports pages, like the Oakland Tribune, while you're at work," or, "If you were watching SportsCenter while we were making out, I'll kill you," to my all-time favorite, "That's it. It's me or sports." I've heard it all.

So, what you're about to read may very well surprise you. I really don't care about this year's Super Bowl. It's not that I don't like football. Quite the opposite really. It's more that the teams representing the NFC and AFC this year stir up about as much entertainment value for me as watching Rocky lick himself in the middle of the living room. Humorous for a second, but definitely can't hold my attention.

Even the league is having a tough time marketing these teams. See how small the logos are on the bottom?

Pittsburgh is a good football town, from everything I'm told. My buddy, Rogish, is one of the most loyal Steelers fans I've ever seen. His move to pick up tailback Willie Parker off the free-agent wire, before anybody else in the league had ever heard of him, was one of the reasons why he dominated our fantasy league this year. (Well, he also pulled the annual "Let me see who is dumb enough to trade me Tike Barber and Antonio Gates, even though I'm already running away with this league" move that experienced players utilize.) Anyways, for fans like him, I couldn't be any happier. I remember the days when "my" 49ers considered it their annual rite of passage to participate in the Super Bowl. It's such an incredibly fun time when your team is in the game.

As for Seattle... whatever.

That being said, it's not that it has to be my team in the game. It's just that I have to have at least some rooting interest, one way or another. Usually that rooting interest is precipitated with a wager involving a large sum of money. But this year, I don't have a clue who I would bet on. Neither team strikes me as a "dominant force." The NFL this year was so mediocre (says the 49er fan) that I just couldn't get behind any team without feeling that, "Oh, this week there's a chance they can blow this." You never want your Super Bowl winner to be a team that could be beaten by roughly 39 of the previous 39 Super Bowl winners. I dunno, maybe I'm exaggerating, but the sense I have is that neither of these two teams would match up well against the Niners of the 80's, or the Cowboys of the 90's, or the Raiders, or previous Steeler teams, or even the Baltimore Ravens earlier this decade? I mean, the fact that the Brett Favre story and the Donovan McNabb vs. T.O. story (PLEASE MAKE THESE GUYS STOP!!! Seriously, they're worse than my sister and I when we were 10-years-old) have garnered bigger headlines this week should tell you something.

DM: "Are Not!" -- T.O.: "Are Too!" -- DM: "Are Not!" -- T.O.: "Are Too!" -- DM: "Are Not!" -- T.O.: "Are Too!" -- DM: "Are Not Not Not Not Not Not Not Not!" -- T.O.: "Are Too Times Ten!"

Thus, I'm in a quandary. I could care less who wins the game and I have no money on either team. What I'm truly looking forward to is going over to my buddy Reed's house to watch the game on a 7x7 HD projector system. There will be plenty of beer and whiskey. There will be plenty of food. And, as always, there will be plenty of commercials. I hope the score is close, because if not, I may be sprinting back to my house by halftime to watch the Kings vs. Jazz. At least the Ron Artest story is interesting.