posted by BH
I've had a beard for a while. I started growing it when I was working at Sierra Pacific in October. It has, over that time, become a trusted companion. I've actually grown a beard each of the past three winters, but this is the first year in which I've kept it until March. I don'tknow why I feel better about this year's version. I think I've become a more capable beard grower, in that I seem to be able to grow more hair than when I was younger, and I am better at taking care of it. All that being said, my wife's been dropping hints for the past few weeks that it may be time to come clean. I know what she's saying. I get a lot less smooching action as a bearded guy. I don't think I'd get a lot more being clean shaven, but she thinks I look better with no hair on my face.
a) I don't have to go through the actual process of growing one, which has to be a difficult thing for any guy to go through.
b) Other guys will think I'm cool
c) I'll look like Earl Hickey
On the negative side:
a) Girls won't look twice at me. I know I'm married and all, but it's nice to know I'm being noticed.
b) Looks dirty?
c) I'll still have the kissing issue with my wife.
d)I'll look like Earl Hickey
e) To quote something from Phil, "You can't say shit if you have a mustache. If you go to the PG&E office to dispute a bill, they'll just say "Dude, you have a mustache" and you'll have to pay the full amount. If you write a letter to the editor, it will be rejected. Your kid will ask you not to sleep with his mother. You can't get free super-saver shipping at Amazon."
I shaved the rest of my beard off Friday afternoon, and made my first public appearance last night. My wife likes it. When I went out last night, at least five guys said something to me about it. Some said it was cool, others said things like "Hey...look at that."
Having a mustache kind of feels like walking around town with my zipper down and one of my nuts hanging out. People look at me and I can't really tell whay they're thinking. There are certainly those admiring the sac I've got, while others can't believe I'd go out like that. I don't know. I've kind of always wanted to be Magnum, P.I., and while I will never be able to sport a Selleck-esque piece, I can do my best Earl imitation.
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3 comments:
Dude, that is one of the funniest things I have ever heard. Suddenly, the Magnum P.I. picture seems all the more inherently hillarious.
I just read this again. Dude, seriously dude, that's just spectacular. It takes a rather large sac to sport a mustache. I applaud you, Barry Henderson.
Today was a real test. I had to sub for an 8th grade class, and I've learned that they have little to no ability to exercize tact. It went pretty well. Most of them asked where the beard went, and one or two said it didn't look good. I promptly smashed their heads into a desk. I've mostly been receiving positive comments though.
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