Tuesday, December 27, 2005

The Second Ever Boofy

by BH

I hope everyone had a good Christmas. Mine was fun. My son got lots of toys, which means I get lots of projects, which means he and I get to play with his toys and I get to clean up.

I had resolved to make the Boofy a Sunday night award, yet failed in my second week. I suppose though that since Sunday night was Christmas night, my body was devoting most of its energy to digesting a huge holiday meal and not spending much energy on making my brain function. Thinking about who might receive this week's Boofy, I found myself feeling a bit apathetic. No one had really put his or her foot forward in a decisive manner. As I thought about the award this morning trying to remember the most absurd thing about the week, I remembered the Shaq/Kobe Christmas Day game. I thought, "These are my Boofy guys." I realized though that Shaq and Kobe, as far as the leadup to the game, the game, and follow-up stuff went, really didn't do anything that deserved the Boofy. That's why this week's Boofy is officially awarded to the national media that covered and wrote about the game.

Here's to you, NBA media

Marc Stein wrote a piece on ESPN.com about how Shaq can't let go of their "feud," going on at length about how Shaq and Kobe didn't acknowledge each other at the tip and this and that.

It's Shaq-A-Claus, as he likes to call himself come holiday season, who won't let the drama die.
No, it's you and those like you.

It's Shaquille O'Neal, as much as anyone in the trouble-making press corps, who invites endless focus on basketball's favorite soap opera, even though the stars parted long ago.
So, you're acknowledging that the press has a bad reputation for it's tactics in regards to things like this. Sarcastically, no doubt. But that you're acknowledging it at all shows that you know you're at least a little guilty.

The hype machine doesn't have to grind too hard when Shaq slaps Cook's hand, walks right past Bryant, turns his back to No. 8 and then slaps an unsuspecting Cook on the wrist again, as if to slam-dunk the snub.
Sooooo, you watched the whole pre-tip interaction close enough that you could write about exactly what happened? Maybe this is a sign about the real reason you were at the game? So, maybe it's not just Shaq who can't let the feud die? You were hoping to have something to write about regarding Kobe and Shaq's relationship maybe?

"I think people should just leave it the hell alone," Kobe suggested on Christmas Eve. "Move on."

Yet it was O'Neal, in his winners' interview with ABC's Lisa Salters, who responded to two questions about the opening tip with two blank stares, until he finally signed off by saying: "Merry Christmas everybody out there."
Kobe doesn't want to talk about it. Shaq doesn't want to talk about it. So Marc Stein and the rest of the hacks who treated the game like an undercard have decided that their degrees in journalism also mean that they, when their given no real material, can read minds and assign blame.

"Guys, you just need to get off this," Bryant implored reporters afterward, when asked about the frosty opening tip. "I mean, seriously."

We'll try. Or at least I resolve to try, even knowing that all of the above will be dredged up again soon before Round 4 at Staples on Jan. 16.

I have to ask, though.

If Shaq's not off it, how can we be?
Here's where Marc Stein's world seems to differ from my own. I can't imagine sitting around the dinner table, after my family has asked how my day has gone, saying something like, "Well, I wrote a column about how Shaq and Kobe aren't getting along. I went to Miami, and did a piece about how two guys I barely know have a relationship that's rocky, and in no way really affects anyone, or, seemingly, even them." Can these people (those who write about shit like this) really feel as though they are doing anything that's for the benefit of anyone? When did ESPN and the rest of the national sports media turn into a mix between People Magazine and the WWE? Anyway, the Boofy is all about Stein and the rest of "the trouble-making press corps" who made a big deal of the Shaq/Kobe "feud." Have fun at the dinner table you hacks.


shadrach78 said...

thats funny, I read the same article. I thought, good the stars are trying to let this dumb shit go. But I think the reporters feeding off what the public is respoding to, which, sad to say, is the drama. Thats what the nation loves right now.....celebrity drama, Us weekly is selling more mags than ever, you look at the check out line at the grocery store and there is like 5 different junk mags on celebs, and now its made its way to sports....ever watch ESPN Hollyood? Garbage! So, I think theyre just giving the people what they demand. Sucks. Same reason T.O. was the most searched subject this year....d.r.a.m.a.
Boatright, out.

SonDog said...

There's a reason why that game (Miami/LA) has a larger audience both last year and this year than ANY of the NBA finals games between San Antonio and Detroit. People love that drama. US Weekley, Access Hollywood, E! Network... these are absolute staples in people's lives. When Nick Lachey can be considered an ESPN colleague to Peter Gammons, the world is going straight to hell. It's the sad, sad reality of current state of affairs. How unfortunate this is... How unfortunate this is. (One of my clients used that melodramatic phrase on me once, dead serious.)

shadrach78 said...

Believe it or not, from what I saw on the episodes of Newlyweds (yes, I did watch) he was such a huge USC fan, he could probably do a better job doing commentary than that tool Phil Simms speaking on his Giants...

SonDog said...

BH and I want to do a top-10 list of the horrible announcers of 2005. Phil Simms will for sure be on that list, along with Michael "Oh My God, Could My Nostrils Be Any Bigger" Irvin.

shadrach78 said...

Top 10 best?....Boomer, Al Michaels, Madden (duh) would be my votes. I wouldnt mind shooting the Sunday night football clowns in the face. And even though he is a former bronco, Shannon Sharp sucks. His brother is good and I just remember Tom Jackson too.

bh said...

Sterling Sharpe was awesome, but I agree that Shannon is hard to watch. Yes, Simms is on the list. Time or SI or Newsweek did a small piece on him recently, and all the things the author discussed as being good Simms characteristics were the reasons I can't stand him. He was terrible doing the Giants/Chiefs game.

OZ said...

The Giants may have the best commentators as a team in all of sports. An Emmy award winner and a future hall of famer, along with great color analysts and variety make this the most knowledgeable and entertaining team in my book.

phil said...

I like simms.

Also, the reason why no one watches the NBA finals is because the NBA playoffs take 30 years. By the time the Spurs have the thing wrapped up, Tim Duncan's granddaughter is playing small forward.

I just saw that giant monkey movie.

bh said...

I don't like Simms and you stink.