Wednesday, December 14, 2005

Thoughts from THE Association

by SonDog

San Antonio Spur, Tim Duncan, was 3 for 13 from the free-throw line on Tuesday night, absolutely killing my chances of winning ft% this week in my fantasy league. Even though he made two "clutch" free throws at the end of the game, Duncan's pathetic foul shooting (55.2% in December) is becoming eerily reminiscent of the Chuck-Knoblauch-at-second-base days with the New York Yankees. Similar to Duncan's foul shooting, every throw from Knoblauch to first was an absolute adventure.

While I'm on the subject, I picked Duncan in the first round and picked up Shaq in the third... I knew then that I would NEVER win a week of free-throw shooting % in my fantasy league.

Maybe Carmelo Anthony is starting to get it. 'Melo played every bit the superstar on Tuesday as he connected for 43 points on 13-18 from the field. 43 points on 18 shots? Iverson and the Mamba could only hope to have such accuracy. Anthony went on to collect 8 boards, 4 steals and 4 dimes. With Kenyon Martin struggling to recover from micro-fracture surgery (um, who so far hasn't struggled to recover from micro-fracture surgery? I'll rant about this in a second), Marcus Camby playing 35 minutes a night (something that is going to end soon with the basketball-injury equivalent to the 1937 Hindenburg disaster), Nene out for the year (along with his last name) and George Karl trying everybody but 57-year-old Alex English at shooting guard, Anthony is starting to assume more of a leadership role in Denver and doing his best to shut the mouths of his doubters. If he finds a way to be more consistent with his outside jumper, he'll become impossible to guard.

Artistic rendering of Marcus Camby's knee during a January dunk

I think true NBA fans have been dying to have Ron Artest and Bonzi Wells on the same team. If Sacramento pulls the trigger on that trade, how many times do you think that squad will be compared to the inmate team from The Longest Yard? Also, couldn't you see Pete Carrill setting himself on fire during a timeout out of utter frustration? I'd pay good money to watch that circus.

The Phoenix Suns are surprising everybody with how well they are playing without man-child Amare Stoudemire. People still seem to think that Amare will be back soon as his recovery from the dreaded micro-fracture surgery is reportedly going well. Sure. I'll believe it when I see it. I really do not understand why the micro-fracture proceedure has become so popular in recent years. This is a paraphrase of a recent conversation between a doctor and a player:

Doctor: "So, basically what I'm going to do is take an 18V power drill to the bone above your knee, let the bone literally bleed, then sew you back up, and you should be back on the court in 3 to 6, um, years."

Player: "Wait... What?"

Doctor: "Hey, have you ever heard of Penny Hardaway, Allan Houston, Jerry Stackhouse, Jason Kidd, Chris Webber, Amare Stoudemire and Kenyon Martin?"

Player: "Yeah, they all used to be all-stars, right?"

Doctor: "Exactly. And look what it's done to THEIR careers!"

Player: "Wait... What?"

Doctor (while holding the player down): "Nurse, get me the anesthesia, STAT!"


bh said...

I can't believe you wrote "dimes."

sondog said...

You're a textbook example of somebody who builds themselves up by putting others down, aren't you? I like dimes.

t money said...

dimes are good! Son Dog I think the reason that everyone is so hopeful is because Amare is only 23 and young people heal better than 30 year old people. That being said Z-Bo is sucking it up and he's young so I might be wrong. Trae

Stapes said...

Has there ever been an NBA season that is so predictible. Actually, I'm sure there probably has been I'm just not remembering. But:

We know it is going to be San Antonio vs. Detroit. Taking it a step further you know that it will be Detroit over Miami in the Eastern Conf. finals - especially with the SI cover jinx hitting artest and Indiana.

In the West, Dallas is stuck behnind San Antiono and will get the four spot and play the spurs in the West semi-finals with the Spurs crusing in the West finals.

I'm starting to kind of like injuries, not because I'm a sick fuck but because they make you think for once. With the aforementioned Amare going down we at least wcan debate and wonder who will win the sorry-ass Pacific.


sondog said...

I want to see what Amare is like when he comes back. If he can perform for 35 mintues at a high level, then he will be the first to come back from this type of injury and be in good form. I still don't understand why they thought he needed it, but I'm not a doctor, so what the fuck do I know.

I'm sold on San Antonio, without question, but I'm not yet sold on Detroit. Their starters are unbelievable, but their bench is about as bad as the Kings as far as efficiency. Then again, without Artest, Idiana doesn't have a chance, and unless Riley turns Walker and Williams into defensive stoppers, I don't think Miami has enough to beat them either. So, I guess I just totally contradicted myself.