Sunday, April 08, 2007

It's OmbudsMAN, not OmbudsLADY!

It's really getting messy now.

It appears that the outrage shown by bloggers worldwide found its way to the official ESPN ombudsman's email box. Yup, on Sunday night, ESPN's new ombudsman, Le Anne Schreiber ("The public's representative to ESPN,") posted a scathing critique of Schrutebag of ESPN Radio, making it crystal clear that... well, nothing really.

However, rumor has it that she really gave it to Schrutebag with the following exchange in a back hallway somewhere in Bristol, CT:

(Le Ann Schreiber): All right, Cowherd... you called down the
thunder, well now you've got it!

You see that? (Points to her business card) It says ESPN ombudsman!

(Schrutebag):[terrified, pleading] Le Ann, please, I...

(LeAnn Schreiber): [referring to Jason Whitlock, lying dead] Take a good look at him, Colin... 'cause that's how you're gonna end up! [shoves Schrutebag down roughly with her boot]

(LeAnn Schreiber):Your days of plagiarizing blogs and calling on your listeners to shut down random sites are finished, you understand?! I see an arrogant grin, I kill the man wearin' it! [lets Schrutebag up to run for his life]

(LeAnn Schreiber): So run, you cur... RUN! Tell all the other curs the law's comin'! [shouting]

You tell 'em I'M coming... and hell's coming with me, you hear?... [louder]

Hell's coming with me!!!!

LeAnn Schreiber... Bitch on wheels

Okay, so that was straight from one of the best movies on the planet (courtesy imdb.com.) But that's how I envisioned it goin' down.

Really, all Schreiber did was report that ESPN now has a 'no tolerance' policy regarding such matters, meaning Schrutebag isn't really going to be punished at all. Damn shame. I was hoping for a gunfight.

2 comments:

the butler said...

Go ahead. Skin it! Skin that smoke wagon and see what happens...

SonDog said...

You die first. Get it? Your friends may get me in a rush, but not before I turn your head into a canoe. You understand me?