Friday, February 01, 2008

Apparently Corky from Life Goes On is the GM of the Memphis Grizzlies

SonDog

I re-enter the blogging world by asking you this profound question: Is Corky from Life Goes On running the Memphis Grizzlies?

The Grizzlies handed Pau Gasol to the Los Angeles Kobe's... sorry, sorry... Los Angeles Rapitsts' today for Michael Jordan's turd burger (a.k.a. Kwame Brown), some point guard with a long name who will likely be released soon (Jarvis Crittenton), Aaron McKie (who died three months ago), the draft rights to Gasol's brother (who even Chad Ford thinks sucks), and a couple of draft picks that will amount to jack and shit.


The Memphis Grizzlies' management team

The worst part of all this, of course, is that it makes the Lakers significantly better. A three-headed monster of Kobe, Bynum and Gasol is as good as any trio in the West, sans Nash, Stoudamire, Marion. Kobe is arguably the best 2-guard in the league, despite the fact that his moniker (The Mamba) is self-given AND the name of Uma Thurman's character from Kill Bill. (Seriously, wouldn't that be on par with BH and I referring to ourselves as Thelma and Louise?) At any rate, he's pretty damned good, and Bynum is a top-3 Western Conference Center. Gasol may never be as good as people hoped he would be, but he does have some slick low-post moves and is a threat for 20 points/10 boards every night. With a healthy Bynum, the Lakers may have the best front-court in the Western Conference. And let's not forget that they also have Lamar Odom who is most comfortable being Lamar Odom and not Scottie Pippen.

For his part, Corky, the Grizzlies' GM, said the following: "This deal provides us with a significant amount of assets -- two first-round picks, the draft rights to Pau's brother Marc, who has emerged into the top big man in Spain, a talented young point guard in Crittenton and a sizable amount of salary cap room over the next few years," Grizzlies general manager Chris Wallace said in a statement.

Let's break this down piece by piece:

"This deal provides us with a significant amount of assets..." Corky
If by "assets" Corky means "crap," then I couldn't agree with him more.

"...Pau's brother Marc, who has emerged into the top big man in Spain..." Corky
Well, congrats. He's right up there with other top Spaniards like... um... like... Pau Gasol?

"... a talented young point guard in Crittenton..." Corky
YOU JUST DRAFTED MIKE CONLEY AND KYLE LOWRY IN BACK-TO-BACK YEARS, YOU FUCKTARD! THEY BOTH PLAY THE POINT! I THINK YOU'RE SET THERE!

"...and a sizeable amount of salary cap room over the next few years..." Corky
Well, there's always that.

2 comments:

the butler said...

Now if we could just trade Mike Miller for a bag of Doritos we'd be rid of all the ugly white dudes!

You all just wait until we sign a whole new team in the off-season.

Next year's line-up for the Grizz-

G-Mike Conley
G-Andre Iguodala
F-Rudy Gay
F-Elton Brand
C-DAAAARKOOOOO!!!

By the way, missed y'all.

Anonymous said...

Why do Boston and LA get all the sweatheart deals? Why can't Charlotte or Toronto catch this trade?