Thursday, January 19, 2006

Good vs. Evil

by SonDog

There are four evenings during the NBA season that are veritable religious holidays in my house. Those four evenings in past seasons have provided, among other things: excitement, drama, high comedy, tears, heartbreak, anger, frustration, elation, redemption and a sexual assault suspect. I am of course referring to the four times each season that the Sacramento Kings play their arch-rival, the Los Angeles Mamba's.

I have been a Kings fan for many, many years. I can remember the days when ultra-crappy color commentator, Jerry Reynolds, was actually the ultra-crappy coach and/or director of player personnel of the team. Then again, in those days, Sacramento had to reserve space in local high schools for practice time, so I don't necessarily point all the finger of blame for those horrible teams of the late-80's and 1990's straight at Reynolds.

Of course, Reynolds was the man who had the responsibility of drafting most of the Kings players from 1985 through 1995. His resume includes the following players: Evers Burns, Alex Holcombe, Mike Peplowski, Brett Roberts, Pete Chilcutt, Randy Brown, Steve Hood, Lionel Simmons, Travis Mays, Duane Causwell, Anthony Bonner, Sven Myer, Joe Arlauckas, Vernon Carr, Darryl Thomas, Scott Adubato, Vinny Del Negro, Rick Berry (not THE Rick Barry), Pervis Ellison (#1 pick in the draft), Harold Pressley, Johnny Rogers, Bruce Douglas, Alvin Franklin, Bob Beecher, Keith Morrison, John Flowers, Ron Rankin, Charles Bradley, Willie Simmons, Bob Lojewski, Charles Valentine, Alton Gipson, Chip Harris, Bruce Vanley, Jim Foster, Jeff Allen and the immortal Roosevelt Chapman. I'm forgetting Heywood Jablome and I.P. Freeley. In fact, the best players drafted during Reynolds' tenure are, in no particular order, Otis Thorpe, Kenny Smith, Billy Owens, Walt Williams and the immortal Joe Kleine... yes, Joe Kleine makes Reynolds' top-5 draft pick list during a 10-year period. That should tell you something.

Reynolds once drafted this man, Heywood Jablome, to be the savior of the franchise

At any rate, I have had a long-standing love-affair the Kings. Due to this, I have also had a long-standing hatred towards the Los Angeles Lakers. There has never been a time in my life where I have not hated the Lakers. I have respected them, but I've always hated them. In fact, I'm not even close to exaggerating here when I say I despise them more than any other team in professional sports (in case you're wondering, #2 is the Los Angeles Dodgers, #3 is the Dallas Cowboys, #4 is the New York Yankees, and #5 is any team that ever has anything to do with Alex Rodriguez, or, as most people know him, Gay-Rod.)

My hatred towards the Lakers hit an all-time high during the 2002 Western Conference Finals. Most of you who are reading this know what happened. But, for those of you who don't, I'll make a long-story short: The Kings were bent over a rusty picnic table by the NBA officials, while Kobe and Shaq stood by and laughed, on their way to shooting 27 FOURTH QUARTER FOUL SHOTS during game 6. In other words, they lost in seven games after getting robbed in what would have been a clinching game 6. It was such a travesty that American-hero, Ralph Nader, submitted a formal protest to the league office. I'm not even close to kidding.

Every year, some of the names change. Some remain from the Kings' glory days earlier this decade: Rick Adelman, Mike Bibby, Peja Stojakovic and Corliss Williamson (his second tour of duty in Sac). Some remain from the Lakers' glory days earlier this decade: Phil Jackson and Mamba Bryant (Devan George doesn't really count). However, every year, the passion and hatred towards one another stays the same.

During Thursday night's thrilling game in which the Kings won in overtime, there were several things that I noticed about these two teams:

  • I'll say again... How can anybody want to be a teammate of Kobe Bryant? The looks of utter contempt that Mamba gave his teammates in the closing minutes of regulation, when they didn't pass him the ball, were insanely comical. The best was the temper tantrum that Bryant threw when Lamar Odom took the last shot of regulation, and missed, instead of passing to Bryant. Personally, I think Lamar did this on purpose, because he was grinning as Mamba was flailing about with anger. Honestly, I'm waiting for the day that Lamar lays Bryant out on the court with a lefty roundhouse.
  • Shareef Abdur-Rahim deserves all the credit in the world for playing last night with his jaw wired shut. I mean, who would do that? Not to sound like Mike Patrick, but that's toughness right there. I mean, this guy is as tough as they come. His threshold for pain has to be off the charts. Or, as Joe Theisman would say, "You don't think this guy wants to play for this team? You don't think he's tired of losing? You don't think he wants to help in any way imaginable?" Or, as Paul Maguire would say, "I want to show you something right here... watch this, watch this right here... look at that jaw... WHAM!... it's wired shut! He's breathing through only his nose!"
  • Was it just me, or did it sound like Doug Collins wanted to take Kobe out after the game to see Brokeback Mountain? Christ. During the third quarter, I actually muttered the words, "If Collins compares Mamba to MJ one more time, I just might shit my pants." Needless to say, I ended up cleaning my couch 52 additional times over the course of the next quarter and a half. I can paraphrase everything Collins said in the last four minutes with, "This is the exact same play they used to run for Michael." What, give him the ball and let him shoot over a quintuple team while his teammates stand around bored out of their minds? Seriously, that's the play call they used to run for Michael?
  • This is a direct quote from the AP story this morning about last night's game: "Bryant played the entire first quarter and demanded the ball on almost every possession. He finished the first half with 26 points, but grew visibly frustrated with his teammates -- particularly Odom -- when they didn't pass to him every time down the court." I do not blame Odom one bit for trying to make something happen. There comes a time, I'm sure, when you get a little tired of standing around and watching "every time down the court."

Here's the Mamba, right after he was told to go to his room until he could play nice with others. Naturally, he took his ball with him.

  • That being said, there was a rumor on ESPN.com last week that indicated a trade scenario involving Peja and Kenny Thomas (who played out of his mind last night) to the Lakers for Odom. If I'm the GM of Sac, I swing that trade faster than Kobe getting into trouble at a hotel. I've said for years, and OZ can back me up on this, that Odom is a perfect fit for the Kings' high post offense. While he made a couple of boneheaded plays last night, particularly the late charge on Thomas, Odom is a player who can make a serious difference in the right system.
  • Favorite Doug Collins quote of the night (other than him referring to Mike Bibby as "Henry Bibby," his dad, for the umpteenth time during the last two years), "When the Kings offense doesn't score, they have a tough time winning." Kind of like what happens to most teams, but whatever.
  • Mike Bibby is on a tear right now. He is doing his best to keep the Kings in the game for three quarters, before taking over the fourth with his shooting. He is one of the top players in the league at going left and stopping for an 18-ft jump shot. I honestly think that Brad Miller and Bibby are two of the best supporting players in the league. The problem in Sac is that they've asked them to be more than supporting players. See: Kings trade Webber to Philadelphia. Nevertheless, Bibby's 40 points last night all came within the flow of the offense, which is exactly what you want.
  • The Mamba: Able to attack relentlessly and tirelessly with 99% accuracy, lethality and precision, unless it's overtime and you're trying to take 37-ft three pointers over three people while off-balance, with your teammates flipping you off in the background.
  • Have I mentioned how much I hate the Lakers? Really, I really, really hate them.

Last night's game was the highlight of what has been a disappointing season for the Kings to this point. Maybe they can keep the momentum going through the upcoming road trip, maybe they can't. Regardless, for one night, they beat the Mambas, and all is happy and joyous.

6 comments:

C-lo said...

I would like to point out a Kings downfall. You listed a former Razorback player in the top 5 all-time Kings players (coached by the Reynolds guy). That, in itself, is a travesty. We are known for not producing NBA quality players (maybe with the exception of JJ, but he doesn’t count because I’m pretty sure he didn’t learn a thing playing for us). And Scoreless Corliss? That’s 2 Hogs in one post by you. Frightening.

Anonymous said...

Great list, I laughed thinking of those names. I remember seeing Duane Causell yawning while guarding a guy who had the ball.

I liked Walt Williams. The first time my dad ever took me to Arco he scored 40 during his rookie year against a horrid sixer team. He was never more than role player with bad knees but he was sweet that night.

I wouldn't want Odom on the Kings. He is a underachiever who doesn't play hard consistantly. This Peja situation is going to come to a head eventaully though. Garcia is valuable because he allowing Bibby to play off the ball. And then there is the fact, Peja doesn't do shit. I'm predicting he bolts after the year, and the kings aren't that upset about it. I'm also predicting he signs with LA and beats the Kings on a game winner at ARCO. That's being a Kings fan - horrible ironic shit happens to you.

Anonymous said...

Remember when Sacramento fans considered Spud Webb a great point guard? Those were the days. I'll never forget the train noise that was made at Arco when Lionel "L-Train" Simmons made a bucket. Happened about twice a game. Speaking of which, how could Jerry Reynolds screw up FOUR first round draft picks that year? Causwell, Simmons, Bonner, Mays... Guh.

True, Odom is a lazy ass, but I think that's because he hits his bong like a vacuum. I would not want to be that thing after last night's game. His skill set is perfect for Adelman's system. Then again, since there's a good chance Adelman will be gone next year, it's probably a moot point.

Joe Kleine is the greatest Hog that there ever was. Not to sound like Walt Frazier of MSG during a Knicks game but, "Joe Kleine provides 48 minutes of pure fury every night!" Between Kleine and Pervis Ellison, the Kings quite possibly drafted the two least productive centers in the history of the sport... not including Duane Causwell.

C-lo said...

Better than the Big O (Oliver Miller)? That dude could block the entire lane by himself (if he could put down that twinkie and get down the court). And wasn't Spud Webb the guy who inspired all white guys to try to dunk? Didn't you all think, "Damn, if a black guy who is 5'7" can dunk, then clearly this 6' white guy can too"? Then BAM you all hit the gym floor after jamming the ball into the front of the rim.

Anonymous said...

Big O could block a damned intersection all by himself, let alone a lane. I remember when the Phoenix Suns' Gorilla mascot put about 15 pillows under his costume and threw a Miller jersey on, then proceeded to run around the court while the fans laughed and pointed. Needless to say, Oliver was not to happy about it, and a controversy ensued (the whole black gorilla thing wasn't necessarily the best PC move on Phoenix's part). Coincidentally, that was the last time his name was mentioned in NBA circles.

Anonymous said...

The mental picture of "the not quite dunk" is one of the funniest failures in all of sports. Going from the games most expressive triumph to falling on your ass with your shoulder and elbow feeling like they've been bent backwards, all while getting that weird displacement feeling that seems to make the moment last much longer than it actually does, is a downfall all athletes and spectators alike can get a great laugh at.

Of course, I have only felt this experience on a small scale (by small I mean a lowered 8’ hoop in the Kings backyard) and would imagine it is exponentially increased when experienced during a game.