Immediate Reaction: Artest for Peja

by SonDog

The way I see it, Peja Stojakovic today becomes the ex-girlfriend. The one that early on in the relationship was full of life, smiles, beauty, hilarity, sex and everything else. You thought she could eventually be 'the one."

By the end of that long-term relationship, however, the girl just bored you to death. She became as fun-loving as a morbidly-depressed freshman in high-school who is infatuated with goth. She no longer wanted to have sex because of nagging headaches, no longer made you laugh, put on a few pounds, threatened to break up with you if you didn't ditch some particular buddies (especially the one who averaged 20-10-5), seemed disinterested and distracted all the time and basically forced you to let her go.

Peja, just before the Kings traded him

Peja is the seven and a half year relationship that you will never forget, but one that you have to move on from (or, more appropriately, probably moved on from a year before the relationship officially ended.). In the News From the Ironical Department, Peja played his 518 game in a Sacramento Kings uniform on Sunday night against the Miami Heat. It was a game that earned him the record for most games played in a Sacramento Kings' jersey. In other words, you almost didn't want to break up with her until it was officially the longest relationship you've ever had, somehow trying to justify choosing her over somebody else somewhere along the line. In the end, it was the longest relationship you ever had, but one that is maddeningly filled with "what if" thoughts like, if only she got a boob job or could rebound at anything close to a consistent level.

Now single, the Kings decided to go for a huge gamble. They effectively decided to trade the comfortable yet uninspiring relationship they had with the now-ex, for one of the top-10 sexiest, funniest, most impressive women they have ever seen. She's a potential Playboy Playmate, makes you laugh until your gut hurts, loves to hang out with the guys, loves your dog and is as perfect as you can imagine. Well, close to perfect, I suppose. She has been known to be a little crazy and there is a risk that she has every sexually transmitted disease imaginable. But for now, you don't want to think about that. Maybe you'll worry about it later this year when you're going to the doctor because of that strange discoloration and itch that just won't go away. Today you're just excited that she may be going to bed with you each night for the forseable future.

Ron Artest, meeting one of the Maloof brothers at the Palms

With their life seemingly going nowhere, and their emotional-state at a Prozac-induced fog level of depression, the Kings had to do something. So maybe the new girl was a hooker in her previous city, but you want to give her a chance to change because you know she has so much potential.