Sunday, January 01, 2006

Sunday Silliness

by BH

Generally I like Bill Pidto, but he said two things today that reminded me that he does in fact work for the worldwide leader. First he pointed out that with a loss, the Patriots would get a more favorable first round matchup with Jacksonville rather than having to face a seemingly tougher Pittsburgh team. He asked Sean Salisbury and Mike Ditka, "Did that factor into the play calling or effort at all?" All I could think of was the first lady Andy dates in the speed dating scene of The 40 Year Old Virgin, when she says, "Are you fucking retarded?" The second thing Pidto said came during highlights of the Niners/Texans game. Mike Adams had just intercepted a Tony Banks pass, then lateralled the ball to Ben Emmanuel. Pidto said he lateralled the ball to Emmanuel Lewis. Of course. The Niners have had the worst defense in the NFL because Webster has been roaming the secondary all season.

On the way home from Chico, I tuned into the Colts broadcast on Sirius. The voice of the Colts is a man named Bob Lamey, undoubtedly the biggest homer in all of professional sports. I tuned in at the end of the game, just before Arizona's Josh McCown scored on a sneak in the game's waning moments. When the play happened, it took a moment to sort out whether a touchdown had been scored and even whether McCown had fumbled the ball before or after he had crossed the goal line. As the officials talked about it, Lamey said that the officials, "have been slower than Christmas." I don't know what that means, but I do know I'd rather see officials talk about a call and get it right rather than hurry one and get it wrong. The officials called it a touchdown, but after replays showed that McCown had never crossed the plane of the endzone, Lamey went off. He said "He didn't get in" at least fifty times. He said it was so clear that McCown hadn't gotten in, there was no reason for the referee to take so long to reverse the call. He said there was indisputable proof, and we'd have to wait and see if the officials had the guts to overturn the call. He said the reason the referee was under the replay hood so long was because he was trying to find a way to give the Cardinals the touchdown. Bob Lamey, I learned over the course of the ten minutes I listened to the Colts broadcast, is a fat, blubbering, turd, and I truly feel sorry for anyone who has had to endure him as the voice of his or her team.

Finally, after sacking Drew Bledsoe on a third down halfway through the third quarter, the Rams' Anthony Hargrove got up to do his little, "Look What I Just Did" dance. The dance looked remarkably similar to the one done by the gay guy pushing a lawnmower in season 1 Chapelle's Show. Maybe not a good look for an NFL lineman.

No comments: