Sunday, January 15, 2006

This and That

by SonDog

-- If I were to believe everything I read in most newspapers, ESPN.com, FOXSports.com, the New York Times, et. al, and had I had a spare $10,000 laying around before this weekend, I probably would have put that sum on a two-team parlay in Vegas. The bet would have been that New England and Indianapolis would be playing for the AFC Championship game in Indianapolis next Sunday.

According to most media outlets, conventional wisdom was that you could not bet against the Pats until Brady and Belichick actually lost a playoff game. Conventional wisdom theorized that the Colts were due for a date with the Super Bowl. Conventional wisdom also explained that the NFL was not going to allow anything but New England vs. Indy to happen.

In what is nothing short of high comedy, conventional wisdom turned out to have all the wisdom of a 107-year-old with an advanced case of Alzheimer's.

Instead of the presumed matchup of Peyton Manning vs. New England, we have what should be a highly-entertaining AFC Championship game next Sunday in Denver between the Steelers and Broncos. The Broncos proved during their rout that they have one of the best defenses in football. Jake Plummer also proved that he has matured and achieved a Zen-like state of calm since the beginning of his career. For fans like Steve who watched the Broncos through the entire season, this wasn't that big of a surprise. For journalists like Gene Wojciechowski and everybody else over at ESPN (remember, these were the guys who touted Tom Brady as the league's MVP), the game was so shocking that it necessitated articles belittling the Broncos' victory.

Hi, I'm Gene. I, like my colleagues at the worldwide leader, don't beleive any teams west of the Mississippi deserve any respect

In Indy, the Steelers executed a fantastic game plan to perfection in shutting down the NFL's most potent offense. This, of course, was due in part to the howitzer-sized shell they dodged in the last two minutes.

The prediction here is that Denver pounds Pittsburgh next Sunday, as Jake Plummer finally silences his critics and leads the Broncos to Detroit.

-- I really hope an irate fan (or an irate former front desk agent) jumps out on the court one of these days and pulls a Nancy Kerrigan on Kobe Bryant. How can anybody root for this guy? With each 40-plus performance (and 30-plus shot evenings), Kobe slithers closer and closer to the designation of "biggest ball-hog in the history of basketball." When Kobe actually does pass the rock, the look of absolute disgust on his face when a teammate misses a shot that could have led to an assist is downright hysterical. At this point, I'm not sure what job coach Phil Jackson has on the sidelines. But, if I were making $10 million a year, and I had already written a book in which I slammed Kobe for being "utterly uncoachable"(that's a paraphrase), I guess I wouldn't care much either.

The tape on his right hand is from an attempt to rip off the superglue that's been there most of the season.

-- In Sacramento, it appears that the ship that is this season is lost somewhere between Indiana and Serbia, and I am wondering how good of a draft pick they will get in the 2006 draft. The main problem right now is that aside from Adam Morrison of Gonzaga and Rudy Gay of Connecticut, there aren't really any college players separating themselves. It could be somewhat of a weak draft, which would be somewhat fitting. And yes, in case you're wondering, I still watch every Kings game. Usually I'm four or five whiskeys deep by the third quarter, so I don't get too irate about losses to teams like Charlotte, New Orleans and Portland, and I'm usually yelling things like, "Gimmie more Ronnie Price!"

-- Day 5 of 24 starts tonight. Without question or debate (and with apologies to BH and other fans of Lost) 24 is the best show on TV. Even if you've never seen a season, you should start watching tonight. Trust me, you will make Jack very happy and you will not be sorry.

How can one man have so many bad 24 hour periods in his life? Just try not to think about that.

22 comments:

OZ said...

How can you put 24 over CSI? Did your IQ drop after watching so much football? (That was a stupid thing to say. I'm pretty sure I'm the only person in the US that didn't give a rats ass about football this weekend.)

Is Mamba the easiest target in professional sports at the moment? What do other teams say when they're trying to sell tickets and the vistor is LA?
"C'mon down and watch the Hawks vs. Kobe and some other guys, just don't bring your daughters."

bh said...

Okay, I was just going to rip on 24, but CSI? CSI+24= a whole lot of nothing. Yeah, I get it. The dog saw the murder and terrorists are going to get the president. Holy shit! Watch out Jack Bauer! Your daughter's hot!! Watch out David Caruso! We've got the perfect vehicle to ressurect your career! A spinoff!

SonDog said...

Like the Mamba, I will soon strike on you, Lost Boy, with 99% accuracy, lethality and precision. Just when you're least expecting it... WHAM!!! Your show gets torn to shreds. I'd rather have Doc from Young Guns on my side than Charlie of Party of Five.

bh said...

Ah yes. The classic, "He was on Party of Five so he must be a little weiner and Lost can't be any good" line of reasoning. You should watch the show first. Or, I guess, we could evaluate 24 based on Dark City, The Cowboy Way, Flatliners, Eye for an Eye, etc.

Anonymous said...

What are all of you talking about? Who watches television anymore? I couldn't tell you anything about any of them! Oz, you don't watch football, well that's just queer. But my Mom digs CSI so I won't rag you there. Although you must realize that CBS targets resthomes and hospitals.

BH...Lost...What! Reality TV is OVER!! Some island BS! For Fucks Sake! I don't care if you watch it but don't blog that nonsense. I take time out of my day to check your blogs only to see some shit about some gay ass ABC show. Laaaaaaaaaaaaammmmmmeee!!!!!

Sonny, Sonny, Sonny. Where do I start. How can you possibly have enough time to watch every Kings game and hour long programming? First, the KINGS SUCK!! I'm a fan but I know not to waste my time everynight on their incompetent asses. At least watch good games. 24, yeah I saw it once like 5 years ago when I was unemployed and drinking a pabst 40oz while living in Portland. I thought it was good but I know better than to think I'm going to be sitting in the same spot for 24 weeks watching some show! C'mon!!! I never thought I could say someone who works 40+ a week, exercises, drinks and writes has too much time on their hands, but you do. It is definitely time for you to have a kid.

Okay I'm done. My tidbit for the day: "Don't expect Brazilian girls to have a Brazilian wax. Yes, uterly shocking."

DMo

SonDog said...

I watched five episodes of Lost, season 1 on DVD, and I couldn't stand it. At all. The capper was when the two "stars" of the show were arrested for DUI's. From that point, I just couldn't take it seriously. And The Cowboy Way is a tremendous movie. Don't dis Keifer. He's had a much more successful career than Charlie.

I don't even have the words to discuss CSI.

bh said...

I watched five episodes of Lost, season 1 on DVD, and I couldn't stand it. At all. The capper was when the two "stars" of the show were arrested for DUI's. From that point, I just couldn't take it seriously. And The Cowboy Way is a tremendous movie. Don't dis Keifer. He's had a much more successful career than Charlie.

Did the "stars" get DUI's in the show? Did I miss that episode? You say it didn't happen in the show? Oh, that's good, because I watch Lost, not ShitthathappenstopeopleinLostoffthe set. Also, I didn't compare the two careers nor have I tried to demonstrate that Keifer is unsuccessful, just that the point you were trying to make was and continues to be absurd. The idea that an actor's former role should have any bearing on whether or not a viewer thinks his/her current role is good is almost as ridiculous as using the former role as an argument for why the show is bad.

shadrach78 said...

Lost is rad. Dan, you my friend, are not. It, as well as 24, is the reason people dont go to movies as much any more. Its some great writing, and the directing and the budgets for these shows are incredible.

Anonymous said...

You are all still discussing this. Blow me, you're all queers. QUEEEEEEEERRRSSS!!!!

SonDog said...

I highly disagree with you here. I think an actor's former roll has A LOT to do with whether or not a viewer thinks the current role is good or bad. Or, what I should say, is it has A LOT to do with the character's believability (which, in turn, has a lot to do with whether or not you buy into the character). When I made a short-lived attempt to get into Lost, all I could see was Charlie waiting to get into an arguement with Baily while battling non-hodgkins limphoma. It's similar to Ben Stiller movies for me, I just struggle to get through them.

You're awfully passionate about this show, aren't you? Do you want to marry it? Are you going to be the defense lawyer for the two jailbirds? You do know that most of what I'm saying is just antagonistic crap, right? Seriously, don't take it seriously.

bh said...

Okay I'm done. My tidbit for the day: "Don't expect Brazilian girls to have a Brazilian wax. Yes, uterly shocking."

DMo


It seems like Nacen dated a Brazillian the year before I got to Vail. He might know something about this subject.

bh said...

You're awfully passionate about this show, aren't you? Do you want to marry it? Are you going to be the defense lawyer for the two jailbirds? You do know that most of what I'm saying is just antagonistic crap, right? Seriously, don't take it seriously.

Christ. Seriously. Can't we have a discussion without you turning into some wormy little bitch who has to take a timeout in order to demonstrate that you, in fact, didn't mean any hard feeling but were instead just being, "antagonistic"? Are you all butt-hurt because I called your argument, "absurd," and "ridiculous"? Now, back to your regularly scheduled bickering.

I think an actor's former roll has A LOT to do with whether or not a viewer thinks the current role is good or bad. Or, what I should say, is it has A LOT to do with the character's believability (which, in turn, has a lot to do with whether or not you buy into the character). When I made a short-lived attempt to get into Lost, all I could see was Charlie waiting to get into an arguement with Baily while battling non-hodgkins limphoma.

I would feel bad if I didn't quote Larry David, and say, "Is that the good Hodgkins?"

While I appreciate your capitalized "LOT", this idea is crazy. That you see the character of Jack as Charlie may demonstrate in your mind that the guy is not a good actor, but that's it. Jut because you can't let go of a show you watched religiously in high school, devoting that hour to kissing your biceps, drooling over Jennifer Love Hewitt, and waxing your little blue Mazda, doesn't mean you have to be a hater.

SonDog said...

If you were here, I would have DMo bitch-slap your beard right off your face.

I think the guy who plays Jack is a great actor... when he plays the role of Charlie in Party of Five. Which means, to rebutt your original contention, that I, as a viewer, think this has A LOT to do with whether or not I think this role is good. If there's no believability, then the role is not good. I soundly defeated your statement, just accept that and go back to your regularly scheduled discussions involving fog and the like.

And there's nothing wrong with Jennifer Love-Hewitt. That's one of the best racks I've ever seen, and one of the primary reasons behind my infatuation with that feature.

Didn't this discussion start merely with me saying 24 is a better show than Lost? That's not being a "hater," homeboy B-dizzy to the Hizzy. I mean, that's just a scientific fact. Defend your precious show all you want, but facts are facts.

Are you and Jack still planning to go see Brokeback Mountain tonight?

OZ said...

Whoa there Big-Beard. As a bystander and partial target of your argument I can't help but notice a contradiction in your statements. You say Son's opinion of the show is invalid due to the fact that it's based on information and experiences from a non-related program, but before this extensive blog transpired you berated CSI based on an actor that is from a non-related program. How does that work? You either don't actually believe Son's aforementioned opinion is invalid, or you don't believe that anything David Caruso affects CSI, as it like Party-of-Five to Lost, is a completely separate show.

On that line of thinking, I do agree with you that Son's preexisting experiences of whoever is influencing his opinion of Lost.

bh said...

You say Son's opinion of the show is invalid due to the fact that it's based on information and experiences from a non-related program, but before this extensive blog transpired you berated CSI based on an actor that is from a non-related program. How does that work?

First of all, I would never suggest that NYPD Blue and CSI are "non-related" programs. They are at least far more similar to each other than Party of Five and Lost. Secondly, my comment about Caruso and CSI had more to do with that the franchise, much like Law & Order but with much less foundation, is so full and sure of it's inherent watchability that it will put anyone on the show, knowing that people will watch. Kind of like ESPN and its anchors. I guess I was trying to demonstrate that the show has little to offer, seeing as how CSI: Miami and CSI: New York have been two of the worst shows on television and are basically the same as the original.
If you'll notice, I also successfully demonstrated, scientifically, that CSI+24= 0.

phil said...

"24" stopped being good after they got rid of the hot teenage girl. That's all I watch tv for.

sondog said...

True, the loss of Elisha Cuthbert was a huge hit, but the show has survived. My Monday evening right-hand solo sessions, on the other hand, have fallen by the wayside. (How do I tell these people that due to the unfreezing process, I have no inner-monologue?)

The first four hours (Sunday night and last night) were as intense as any four hours in television history. Even more intense than when Sam said goodbye to the bar or when Charlie told the family he had cancer.

And BH, you need to heed your own advice when you say, "You should watch the show first," as terrorists only attempted to kill the president in season one. We're now in season 5. Point for me.

bh said...

Fuck you and your "point for me." I guess after a season's worth of falling asleep fifteen minutes into each episode, I found something better to do. Meeyeh! Point for me, bitch. Did you ever see that Curb Your Enthusiasm when teenage girls, after tp-ing Larry David's house wrote, "Bald Asshole" on his front door?

sondog said...

Do you remember the line in Ocean's Eleven when Turk says to Virgil, "You're such a little girl! Why do you gotta be such a little girl?!"

Lost + BH = Brokeback Mountain

DMo said...

Isn't Brokeback Moutain about two Cowboy Queers? If so, that would mean that bh is queer.

bh said...

Isn't Brokeback Moutain about two Cowboy Queers? If so, that would mean that bh is queer.

Not just a queer. A cowboy queer.

DMo said...

You are right. A queer cowboy is certainly better than a plain old queer.