Wednesday, April 02, 2008

I Am a Robot...I Feel Nothing...I Want Nothing

Are they kidding us with this shit?  Ken Whizenhunt's disappointed in Matt Leinart's partying, especially after pictures of Leinart's entertainment techniques hit the series of tubes. 


"I reiterated to him the type of behavior that we expect at all times from our players. He understands that as well as the level of scrutiny that he's under because of who he is. It's being handled internally.  I was disappointed but at the same time have no doubts about his commitment to this football team or his ability to lead it." 

Really, I don't think Whizenhunt sounds as upset as the MSM wants everyone to think he is.  I don't give a shit what Matt Leinart does off the field, especially in his own home, especially when it does not interfere with football, which his coach admits is the case.  Leinart is young, has lots of money and enjoys plenty of celebrity.  In a perfect world - the world in which apparently most self-righteous fans expect athletes athletes to live - Leinart would spend his days under some kind of house arrest, on his couch, playing a custom copy of Madden '08 with the Cardinals playbook on his Xbox 360 because Wii Bowling would probably fuck up his arm, under the constant watch of a trainer, nutritionist and therapist whose primary goal would be to void Leinart of any interest whatsoever in women, because goddammit he's supposed to think only about football football football.  Don't enjoy the fame and money now.  Wait until you're done with football to reap the benefits of having played.  Wait until your knees are fucked, you've got a migraine almost all the time, you live on Norco with Oxycodone chasers, attracting only scuzzy ex-actresses now famous more for being famous and dating old football players.  Don't enjoy it now.  Wait.  Remember that right now, you got fans that expect you to protect their emotional investment in the Cardinals and, therefore, you.  Remember what Dan Bickley wrote next time you want to party, 

The NFL is for men. Beer bongs are for drunk, stupid college kids.

and...

But this latest episode has to make his weary coaches wonder when the party-boy snapshots are going to end. After all, a quarterback is ultimately defined by his judgment, and nobody in red had to wonder what Kurt Warner was doing Saturday night.

and that when Bickley parties, he does it in a sophisticated way, with co-workers or his wife's work friends and there are grown-up drinks like martinis and cosmopolitans and everyone takes and passes a breathalyzer test before heading out the door.  Because goddamit, Matt, you can't party the way you want to now.  

2 comments:

SonDog said...

In fairness, the girls partying with the Ambiguously Gay Duo of Matt Leinart and Nick Lachey were between 19 and 20. I mean, I would never condone contributing to the alcoholic consumption by minors if... wait... they're HOT! Who Cares!

atrophiedorange&black said...

It seems like no one talks about that though. It's that he was in the pictures, partying. Both the pieces I linked to either didn't or barely mentioned the age of the beer bongess or hot tubbers. Dan Bickley's concern is Leinart, as is Whizenhunt's.