Thursday, April 17, 2008

Woody's World looks f-ing creepy

I'm sure most of the MHR readers, with our once-in-a-while focus on the incomprehensible Woody Paige, have seen the "Woody's World" box on the top of the Denver Post's sports page.  There's a picture of Paige, on camera, pontificating.  The view, of course, is really why anyone knows who Woody Paige is.  But this time he's speaking to no one.  No "Around the Horn" duels with Pageturd or J.A. Adande.  Just Woody, talking at you, the fan.  

I clicked in the box once, and watched thirty seconds of video before becoming physically ill.  The beauty of a good columnist/writer is that you'd never know they were writing for you, to you, or at you.  For all you know, they'd be writing what they write if no one were ever going to read what's been put in print or online.  Paige, though, doesn't feel that way.  Not only is he afforded a nonsensical column, but he's favored a video as well in order to get himself at you to name drop and spit crackers while he talks.  "All Paige, All the Time," reads the subtext under the "Post"'s banner.  

Now, as I say, I've only made it thirty seconds into a Paige Post clip, and he could use the forum to talk about Special Olympics triumphs or kids that get good grades, but it's unlikely.  And really, I'm just creeped out by the thing being called "Woody's World."  I can't help visualizing some crazy, abandoned third-rate amusement park in which the caretaker can't come to grips with the dilapidated nature of his place.  Ceramic clowns with tattered clothes and eyes that move back and forth; a little dog dressed in a tutu; empty popcorn bags drifting across your path; lots of shadows.  In all I guess I imagine a waaaaaaay less fun Pee Wee's Playhouse.  

So what's my point?  Nothing.  Woody Paige just either seems like he wants weird or batshit crazy to be his schtick, or he is really weird and/or batshit crazy.          

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