Sunday, January 20, 2008

Bad News

I've discovered this morning that my hair is receeding disproportionately.

So today is the real football fan's second best day of the year, after opening weekend. Yes, the Super Bowl is the Super Bowl, but we know it's not for football fans. It's for people who watch for the halftime show or commercials or food at parties or to sound like all of the sudden they know that this Hester guy is good or there is reason to demonstrate some newfound devotion to someone. The game is secondary. It used to mean something, but it's gotten too big. It's hollow, plastic, superficial. Run by people at networks who aren't interested in football.

The conference championships, yes, the conference championships, are the football fan's treat. It's really the last hope for cold-weather football; for a game uninterrupted by meaningless bullshit. The game isn't precedded by a week or two of overwhelming media annoyance. There is no Nickelodeon personality trying to get close to Tank Johnson to ask some obscure question about Timmy Turner's archenemy. There is no sideshow. There is mostly football. I mean, there's always the bullshit story like "Brett gives back to orphans," or "Tom feeds stray cats after games," or "Shawne isn't bad because of steroids because he came from a crummy situation and could have turned out a lot worse like some sort of killer so steroid use isn't really that bad," but we football fans don't really care about that stuff, and we don't pay attention because this is the last week of real football.

Today I have no allegiance. I really, really, really don't want to see a Brady/Favre matchup in the Super Bowl. Oh shit I don't want to see that. The legend vs. legend stories we'll see and hear. Guh. But I really don't want to see that Merriman sack abortion thing in the Super Bowl either. I don't ever want to see a team from New York do anything, but I would rather watch Eli shove something up the asses of all the guys who think he sucks than see Favre act like a 4 year-old on the field.

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